Until It Happens

It's Not The End of the Road

April 24, 2013, 1:00 pm

"How does it feel to be a future university student?" "Are you ready to take your education to the next level?" "Congrats, you graduated! Who knew you'd make it?"

The same lines bouncing off the four walls of the house since the day I graduated high school. The irony I get from the people who doubted me kept on coming at me like blades. Congratulatory statements, hugs, and gifts showered upon me by those people.

University is the last thing I needed to accomplish to be able to get out of this town and away from this nightmare of a "heavenly place to live in" household. My family is quite nice, actually. It's the "home" feeling that's been missing for the past seven years which makes it a nightmare.

I miss being able to say that "I'm home" because that's not how it feels. Mostly when they left.

Picture frames of our fun yet humiliating memories are hanging on my bedroom wall. There is a photo of me trying to wrestle a blonde kid. Another of a red haired guy making fun of my hair filled with glue and one where I was hugging a boy who was holding his first bass guitar that his mom got him as a birthday present.

It's just now that I realized how long it has been since I flew from Australia to Texas with my family. I wasn't able to say goodbye, and so did they. It was a huge move that I didn't anticipate. I forgot about them; I forgot about our friendship.

It was probably best that I didn't say goodbye.

I'm not good at saying goodbye; I'm not good at farewell and forget.

5:00 pm

Boxes upon boxes of clothes and shoes were scattered on my bed. I was packing up for university. A lot of pressure, yes. A lot of stuff to move, maybe.

I stared at the boxes, remembering the stuff that I need to pack. A thought clicked.

"The shirt!" I said, running towards the closet.

Rummaging, I pulled a black and green shirt with a customized "I Will Never Forget" design on the front. It was something we always said to each other weeks before I left. I saw something fall from the shirt, it looked like a letter. I haven't seen this before, in all honesty. 'Maybe it's because you didn't even try to wear the shirt' , I thought.

I opened the letter and read:

Hey shorty!

First of all, we're going to miss you. We already do. When you first told us that you were moving across the globe, you didn't know how much our hearts sank. A friend like you is so hard to find in this town, and you're leaving. Don't worry about us, just don't forget us. We'll always remember you and our memories. Enjoy the shirt because it's one-of-a-kind, unless one of us attempts to make another one.

We love you and see you soon x

From your bestest tall not girl friends,
L, M, and C

I felt like I just died. I forgot, I ignored I can't believe I haven't read this the day they gave me the shirt, or I didn't even bother to appreciate the shirt and their friendship. I ended our friendship with such an unforgiving behavior.

I just laid in my bed, crying; thinking about what it would be like if I called them up now saying, "How's it going? I'm sorry", or maybe show up to one of their concerts while holding up a sign, 'Remember me?'.

I wish they still remembered me. I wish I could just turn back time. I wish I was out of this town. I wish I could just solve every single problem that I have in a second. I wish I could've told him. I wish I said goodbye.

I looked at my clock, 7:00 pm. I sighed, slipping on the shirt and cried myself to sleep.