Jazabella's POV
"Straighten your shoulders child, when addressing your pack you must be in complete control and make them cower in your presence." My mothers tactics to being Luna were never ideal to me. I always believed in kindness and understanding. Being compassionate. When I see my mothers pack I see the fear in they're eyes. Its not trust. Its just simply pure fear. I don't want to lead my pack like that, but to disappoint my mother is a death wish.
I straightened my shoulders and stood tall. As I recited the speech my mother wrote for me for my engagement, I made my voice louder. It echoed through our large house. Being an only child got lonely at times, but it wasn't that bad. I had much to myself. My own room, bathroom, walk in closet, and so much more.
"Now, Jazabella, what is the first thing you do when introduced to your fiance?" She questioned me hard. The same questions I was asked daily. As if I could forget.
I looked at her and recited the correct answer "Smile, curtsey, interlock arms at the elbow, face our packs and recite my vows. Show him no effection. Our union is only for our packs sake not for love."
She looked at me pleased. "Very good jazzy. I'm so proud of you. You'll make an excellent Luna for our pack. Taking over for me won't be easy, but you are my daughter after all. Which means I know you will do right by me."
I smiled, but inside I wanted to cry. I know mother was only marrying me to this alpha because we needed more pack members and what better way for a union of packs, then a union of leaders through marriage. But knowing somewhere out there was my mate, and that when I found him, it would be to late, would kill us both eventually. If a wolf finds they're mate and doesn't mark each other in a matter of 12 full moons, they both die. Thats how my father died. He found his mate, but he was already married to my mother, and a marriage couldn't be undone unless the moon goddess approved. And no ones found her right hand in centuries. We all have begun to loose faith that the goddess even used them anymore to communicate with us. So i am doomed. As is my fiance. For we shall both die, due to our marriage.
"Mother, may I ask you something?" I looked at my mother with pleading eyes. She never conversated with me about any topic I chose. It was always about her and what she wanted. My needs we're none of her concern. But to my surprise she looked at me and nodded. " mother, why must I marry this alpha? What if I find my mate after? I will die mother. you watched father do it. Do you wish to see me suffer mother?"
I knew asking her this would enrage her, but I had to know. The thought that my life meant nothing to her hurt me deep.
"For the sake of your pack Jazzy. As a leader your pack comes first, not love. Its one of the many sacrafices of being an Alpha or Luna. Our happiness is not important. Your engagement to this aplha has been foretold to bring both our packs peace and pride. and in numbers we shall grow."
I knew that would be her answer, but I had to ask. I wanted to hear her concern. But as I expected, there was none. "Am I finished here mother? I would like to retire to my room if I may."
She nods and allows me to leave. I exit the living room and acend the stairs to my room. When I get upstairs, I undress and step into the shower. The hot water relaxing my tense muscles, I sigh and begin to wash my hair. thoughts of what this alpha would be like, how he would treat me, if we we're expected to create heirs, which knowing my mother would absolutely be damanded "for the sake put our pack" she'd say. But could I bare a child of a man whom I am not his mate? My mother did, but judging by the way she treats me I am nothing more than a pawn in her game of life. Not her child, just a tool to become more powerful.
I lean against the wall of the shower my head pressed into it, as hot water runs over my face and down my body. I think about my father, his warm embraces, his gentle words. He tried to love my mother. He told me this many times. But he always told me, I was the one girl he could love with ease. I was his little girl. I miss my father, he made living with my mother easier, tolerable.
"Jazzy, come now, you must hurry child, you will be late for school if you don't!" My mother yells at me through the door.
"Yes mother." I turn off the water, step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my bare body. I then make my way to my bedroom where I dress in my uniform and grab my packpack. I kiss my mother goodbye and get in my car and head to school. I wish she understood I never wanted this life....
