oh, leo.
i don't think i ever actually realized how much i needed you in my life before.
it's like i almost can't breathe without you. almost all of the memories that make me smile have you in them. and now they just make me cry, because you're not here anymore.
and - oh dear - i'm crying again. i'm sorry if the words are smudged - i know you never liked messy things.
it seems like i'm crying a lot these days. i probably shouldn't. you always told me it was better to smile, and yes, i suppose it is.
but leo, it's getting harder and harder to smile without you.
without you i'm disintegrating into nothing,
alice
