Miss Missing You (Patrick Stump fanfic)

I don't want to go to work today. I don't want to wake up. I don't want to start my day. I just want to sleep all day and forget about everything.

I hate that I hate myself. I have that I fuck everything up. I hate that people can forget me so easily. I wish that I was a better person.

Unfortunately, I can't stay in bed all day. I have to face people and my problems at some point. I need to go to work to pay for this shitty apartment. I need to get through today. And I can do that... at some point.

I slowly sat upright and pulled my thick and inviting comforter away from me, bracing for the chilly New York air to hit me. I shivered from the cold and continued to get up and walk to my bathroom.

I hopped in the shower, waiting for the water to heat up. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look down and see my fat and scars. I tried as quickly as possible to wash my hair and shave, then got out and wrapped myself in a fluffy, white towel.

I wiped the steam off the mirror and looked at myself. My pale face and black, long hair made my electric blue eyes stand out. My eyes are the only thing that I remotely like about my appearance. I stepped on the scale, like every morning, dreading the number that is going to haunt me. The dreadful number read 114 pounds. Too much for my liking. For a 22 year old girl that is 5'2'', that was fucking fat.

I sighed and continued drying myself off, carefully working around my fresh cuts. After I was done, I dried my hair and straightened it till it was silky. I applied my low amount of make up, only putting on chap stick and mascara. I don't need to look like a Barbie while working at the record store down my street.

I honestly love my job though. It's just hard for me to pull through the day. I love working with music and seeing people discover breath taking albums.

I hurried up and got dressed, pulling on a pair of blue jeans and an oversized sweatshirt to cover my arms. I slipped on a pair of Vans and walked into my kitchen to grab a water and an apple before walking to work.

The cold New York air whipped my hair around and sent shivers down my spine. I don't mind walking since it's only about a ten minute walk... and since gas prices are this bad right now.

By the time I got there, it was almost noon, giving me time to sign in and get to work. Basically my job is to stock CD racks and keep things neat and organized. Pays enough for me to live fine. The owner used to be real good friends with my parents, so they give me a lot of extra time and money. I don't mind working over time because I don't go out much anyway.

I walked around the corner to open the door, but ran into someone, making me drop my water and apple.

"Shit! I'm sorry, I didn't-" I tried explaining but was cut off by a man.

"No, that was totally my fault, I should've been looking. Oh gosh, I'm sorry about your food, can I buy you a new lunch or something?" the man asked me, helping me pick up my stuff. I finally looked up and connected my eyes with the most gorgeous set of eyes I have ever seen. Holy shit, really, they were seriously the best pair of hazel and green eyes. We stared at each other for a couple seconds, not breaking our eyes apart. I suddenly felt self conscious again, like usual, and looked at my feet, shuffling them around.

"No, you don't have to do that, it was just water and an apple, it's fine... thanks though.. I'm sorry that was totally my fault," I said while avoiding looking at him. God, he's gorgeous.

"I want to though, I feel terrible... did I hurt you? I'm so sorry! Do you want to go grab something to eat from the pizza place down the street? It's on me," he said while laughing a bit. Oh gosh, his laugh is beautiful, if that's even a thing. Seriously, his laugh makes me want to tell him jokes all day just to hear it.