Prism of Equilibrium

Chapter 15: The Escape

I stepped outside the balcony happily, giggling most of the time. The wind is nice out here. Plus, this balcony rocks; it has got see-through glass floor. How is that not cool? I leaned on the railing with my arms supporting my body. The view consists of houses, trees, people, and...Raziel.

I saw him bent down. He lifted a box which he started to hammer onto the wall, and poured in a pack of soil. It must be a flowerbox. Why is he downstairs alone? Has he got nothing to pack?

Then it hit me that I shouldn't waste my time standing here like an idiot. Raziel said we have to finish in 20 minutes. And that's what I'm going to do. Maybe I can help him out if I finished earlier.

"Well, well. Look at who's so eager to meet the prince charming." said my subconscious.

"Oh, shut up already." I said mentally and started to unload my big heavy bag. I wonder what has Dad put inside beside my clothes. I didn't have the time to check when I was at Branson's. I dug my hand in and picked out whatever it is that I had taken a grip of. It's a photo frame---with dad and my photos in it. I traced my finger over those pictures, thinking back of how peaceful my life was. A picture in the middle was when I was five. That time, Dad bought me a...

He bought me something. But now I can't quite remember it. I shouldn't have forgotten it! I looked back to another picture. That was of course years ago, but I couldn't tell when. At this picture I was crying and Dad was comforting me. So who took the picture? It has always been me and Dad only. And come to think of it, we have never got out of the house, except for me going to school. So who stocked our fridge with food? And there was never a guest, and I didn't remember the last time I had any conversation with my neighbor, or if dad had said anything about them. I saw them, but then how am I supposed to know that old grumpy man was Mr. Craig at all, and Mrs. May? How did I know their names?

How did I know everybody's name at school? I seriously can't remember the last time I talked to them. It's like I didn't exist at all.

It's like everything has been input in my head and I have no other memories than that. No story, no opinion, no memories at all about what had happened earlier in my life. Like my life has just started days ago, because that's all I can remember.

I felt like I know my past, but it's not real because I can't remember what I felt.

Has my whole life been a lie?

I sat back, feelings too mixed up to be felt at once---confusion, fear, angst. Where are the memories?!
I caught up quickly with my breath. I have to calm down. These are all impossible. Maybe I really did forget. Maybe I just didn't pay that much attention to those things. Maybe.

Or maybe something bad happened. Maybe my life is a lie afterall.

What should I do?

I inhaled and exhaled a few times though it only helps with my breath, not mind, which is currently running wild about this. I tried to rack my brain about my past, but I couldn't find it. It doesn't seem right.

Wait. Memories, childhood memories. Someone told me about this earlier---Branson. He told me something about my memories, right after I got out of the bathroom. when those weird playbacks started to play in my head.
Did he tell me that my memories were erased? No, he told me something else. I remember now. He told me that him and Dad had hid my memories when I was child---for my safety. He said that I was starting to recover, too.

So I have met Branson before? That explained how he seemed so familiar when I saw him for what I thought was the first time. The deeper I dug, the more I realized how little did I remember about my life. How 95% of my life is fake.