Touchdown Boy

Chapter Thirty

(A/N: Okay, I lied. The Halloween chapter will be the next chapter. But hopefully I will publish it tomorrow.)

Gerard's lips were chapped, but the kiss was soft. Addison thought the kiss would be rushed and passionate. She thought that because Gerard had been so upset, his emotions would have transferred into the kiss.  But it was slow and gentle. Addison even found herself kissing back for a few seconds before she realized what she was doing. She pulled away from the kiss, feeling overwhelmed from the mixture of emotions stemming from the kiss. But the one she reacted to was the guilt she felt for betraying Tom.

            She stepped away from Gerard, pulling away from his hands. Gerard opened his eyes. When he saw Addison's pained expression he immediately became remorseful.

            "Addison, I'm so sorry," he apologized. His eyes filled with guilt. "I don't know what came over me."

            "I need to go," Addison mumbled. She began walking towards the bedroom door.

            "Addison, wait!" Gerard called, following her to the door and up the stairs. "Please! I'm sorry. I should've asked you first. I just thought...I don't know."

            Addison turned around to face Gerard when she reached the front door of the house. "Just...don't worry about it. I'm not mad at you," she reassured him. And she wasn't mad at Gerard. She had been thinking about kissing Gerard ever since the first time they danced. She was mad at herself for kissing him back. "I just need some time alone."

            "I'm sorry." Despite Addison's attempts to console Gerard, his voice still conveyed desperation, as if he was afraid of losing her forever. His eyes were begging her to stay. Addison just smiled sadly at him since she knew her words wouldn't comfort him anyways, and left the house.

            As soon as Addison got back to her house she locked herself in her room. She sat down on the floor and leaned her back against her bed. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins.

            What had she just done? She cheated on Tom. Okay, it had only been a kiss and it had lasted for practically three seconds and their relationship was a sham anyway, but Addison still felt guilty about it. And yes, Gerard had kissed her, but she kissed back. Although, she did stop the kiss, which was what really mattered, right?

            What Addison really felt guilty about was that she had enjoyed the kiss. It had been a pleasurable kiss, but it didn't give her the same feelings that she experienced when she kissed Tom. There hadn't been any butterflies in her stomach; her heart didn't speed up; her body didn't tingle from her head to her toes. There hadn't been any sparks. But maybe that was just because the kiss had been unexpected; there hadn't been any buildup.

            Or maybe it's because you like Tom, Addison's brain offered a more logical explanation. Addison shook the unwanted thought from her head. She couldn't like Tom. She was just acting; they both were. She probably just felt the way she did with Tom because he knew how to make her feel like that. He was experienced, definitely more experienced than Gerard at least. But that didn't explain why she felt the same way when they weren't doing anything physical. The warmth that filled her body when Tom kissed her was the same feeling she got when his smile lit up his face, or when he laughed at one of his own childish jokes, or when he smirked because he made a sarcastic or perverted comment.

            Addison groaned and threw her head back against the bed. Why did she have to like Tom? She saw the way he treated girls.

            But he's not like that with you.