You'll be alright, as long as I'm not. (Pierce the Veil)

A celebration of an ending.

We arrive at the venue and there is already hundreds of fans waiting outside. We were in a line in the back and we were really close to their tour bus. The doors finally opened and we all piled in. The concert started and everything became alright, even if it's just tonight.

          The first artist was You Me at Six. They were some real funny guys and they sure had a lot of fun on stage. Too bad I didn't know all their songs. I always like the songs they don't sing at concerts. After they left the stage, Mayday Parade came on. I know more songs by them and I absolutely loved their drum set. It was grey and had broken hearts on it. It'd be awesome to own it. Another thing I loved about them is when the lead singer threw his microphone in the air and caught it perfectly. I sang along to a couple of the songs that I know by them. And when they started "somebody that I use to know" I almost went crazy. I just knew that Vic would come out and sing his part. And that's exactly what he did! I screamed and jumped and it was so amazing. He left the stage and Mayday Parade finished their set. They went offstage and now they were setting up Pierce the Veil's set up. The excitement was building up and I was just about to explode when they flashed lights and the stage came alive.

          The gears were moving and the spinning boards were a cool effect on the stage. It was dark but you could see the band members enter the stage. Then the lights finally lit up and all the fan girls screamed. I yelled and it was the best moment ever. I sang along with every word. It was so amazing. He started talking about the cancer society and said, "if anyone you know is going through this, a family member, you, or even a friend, this song is dedicated to them." I was already crying. Losing a friend to cancer only a few months earlier was horrible. He started singing "Hold on 'til May" and it was everything I could ever ask for. That song has held so many meanings to me. It just calms me down when I'm upset. It reminded me how the hard times will get better, of my friend who lost her battle with cancer, and of all the times I've ever felt down. The song ended and my tears finally dried. The concert was just so amazing and I hated that it had to end.

          I left my mom to go to the Merch store and decided to go outside instead. I walked around to the back by the tour buses to see if I could run into the band. I didn't see any sign of them but I wasn't going to walk back yet. So I sat down on the sidewalk facing towards the tour bus. I sat there for a few minutes before I heard talking and I looked to my left to see some people exiting the back. It was Pierce the Veil! I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I stood up and slowly started walking towards them.

"Oh, hey! I'm guessing you're a fan?" The sweet and uplifting voice came from Jaime.

I nodded my head and smiled. I'm so shy, I'm not really sure what to say.

"What's your name? I'm sure you already know us all." Vic says with a smile.

"My names Savannah. I'm a huge fan."

"Well Savannah, it's nice to meet you. How are you? Anything you'd like to share?" Jaime is speaking again.

          Should I tell them about my plan? It's not like they can stop me. They'll be out of town before I even attempt to kill myself. I'll just let them know that they have made it just a little better to live. I'll tell them thank you and to not worry about me.

"I'm honestly not doing to well, but you don't need to worry. I'm not going to be like this very longer." I say.

Vic looks down at my wrist and he sees my cuts. He says,

"Your wrist.. You don't mean that you're going to kill yourself are you? Please, don't do that."

         I should tell him it's nothing and that it's not my plan, but he's been through cutting before and he knows what it's like. He didn't need to ask that cause he already knows what is going on.

"I um.. I do mean that. It's what I plan to do in a week from now.. On Thursday night. I just wanted to have one last night of fun and live one last time.. "

"Oh, no no no. Don't do it, hun. You have so much more to live for." Vic says.

"I just don't see it though, my life has just fell apart and I can't take it anymore!" I start crying and Vic pulls me into his arms. They all stand around and they all look so worried.

"Suicide isn't the answer. It just stops life from getting better." Mike is speaking now.

I just keep crying into Vic's chest wishing that all my problems would disappear. I don't want to die, but I don't want to continue living in such a horrible world. I'm not happy and I don't think I ever will be.

"I'm sorry, I just can't do it. I can't..." I say.

Vic speaks up again and I can feel the vibration of his voice in his chest. He says, "It'll be okay, just calm down. Shhh."

As he continues about how much life will get better and that he's sorry for what I'm going though I can't bring myself to believe it. Jaime agrees with him, and so does Tony and Mike. I tell them I love them and they reply back. But they seem like empty words. Of course they love their fans. But what's the difference if one dies? They won't notice it, they won't notice me! We hug, get pictures, and they sign my shirt. We hug one last time and when we were about to part, Vic turns around and so does the rest of the band. He sings,

"Darling, you'll be okay."

I smile, and nod. I Say thank you one last time. And as they walk away, Jaime turns his head and looks at me. He looks very worried but there is something in his eyes telling me it'll all be okay. He mouths the words, "I won't let you die." And as I stand there in wonder he looks back ahead and keeps walking towards the bus.