It's been the longest week since the Spring Fever tour. Since everything has happened when I cried into Vic's chest and Jamie had made that strange gesture. I still don't get what he means by what he said. He won't let me die? I shrug it off though. Tonight is the night I end it all and nothing will stop me. Not even the song "Hold on 'til May" can save me.
I can already tell that today is going to be the longest day ever. So I decide to write a suicide note for everyone so they know it's not anyone's fault.
Dear everyone,
I just want you all to know that I did this for the best. Some call it selfish but everyone tells me to do what's best for me and what makes me happy. I'm not happy here. I cry all the time and I can't do anything about it but end it all. Thank you to all of you who have made my time here somewhat happy. Like to my friend Laura for all the fun times. Remember when we completely "fan girled" over Kellin Quinn and Jesse Lawson at the Sleeping with Sirens concert? Or the time we pulled an all nighter and even though we had shared our deepest secrets and cried together we still had an awesome time! And Mom, thank you for taking care of me. Feeding me, bathing me, housing me. I guess you won't be bothered by me when you move now. My other family, dad, cousins, aunts, and uncles. I love you all.. I hope you will all understand why I'm doing this. I'm not as strong as you all. I can't deal with this pain like all you can. Thanks for the memories and love. Don't worry about me, it'll be alright. I won't forget any of you.
Love, Savannah.
I read over my letter and I second think of the choice I plan on making. Am I really going to do this? Am I really going to end my life tonight? I think of the memories and it makes me think all over again. How am I suppose to deal with this?! It's times like this when I have to make a hard choice like this that makes me want to die. No, just no. I'm going to do this, I've decided and there's no going back. Six more hours.. Six whole hours of waiting and thinking. I go and take a nap to pass the time, this will be the last time I go to sleep. And the last time I'll wake up.
I wake up around 6 and it leaves me with 3 more hours of nothing to do. I decide to watch some Television and then clean my room for what's to come. I go down stairs once my mom arrives home and I decide to speak to her one last time.
"Hi mom, how was work?"
"Good, was kind of busy. There was a lot of accidents today I guess."
She works at the hospital at the counter when people come into the emergency room. It's ironic that it was so busy today. Maybe even a little funny.
"Good bucks, right?" I wink at her and smile.
"Sure." She nods and grins back.
I start heading back to my room and I turn around and say three last words to my mom.
"I love you."
She gives me a weird look. I guess it was weird to say that out of the blue but I had too.
"I love you too."
I walk upstairs into my bedroom and grab my razor, set it in the bathroom, and then walk to get my suicide note. I lay it folded on my bed in an envelope and walk away. I go into the bathroom, pick up my razor, and sit on the ground. I'm clutching this little piece of metal and it's going to be what ends my life. I think over my life and about everything that I've done. My achievements, my family, friends, and my regrets. Everything I hate about myself and then all of the sudden my sadness comes back. Tears are flowing down my cheeks and I can't see anything anymore. I start sliding the razor across my wrist. Gently, at first and then a little deeper with each cut. I'm trying hard not to scream but I'm whimpering. I hear a commotion downstairs and I feel like they know what I'm doing and I have to finish fast. All of the sudden I hear a familiar voice. It's the same sweet and uplifting one I had heard from a week ago. Was it.. no, it can't be.. But maybe.. Everything became blurry and all I remember was the mumble of that sweet voice and a man with spikey hair followed by three others.
YOU ARE READING
You'll be alright, as long as I'm not. (Pierce the Veil)
FanfictionIt's every person's dream to see their favorite band live. It's even better when you get to meet them. A lot of times it saves someone's life. But what happens when it's not enough? What happens when they actually rescue you from suicide?
