Roll the Dice

twenty-five. sue me

[Dedicated to Noelle, who probably knows how inspiring she is, not only with her brilliance and rise to success but also with her incredibly crafted stories.]

I told myself that I had a right to enjoy my last weekend of true leisure before school started, completely aware of how that was a blatant excuse not to tell a certain someone that I was going to disappear for a weekend. He would ask too many questions, I convinced myself, and besides, I wanted to be able to go somewhere without being responsible for anything. And my family! It wouldn't be fair if I didn't dedicate myself completely to spending time with everyone when I rarely got to wind down with them.

I was so bad at making excuses. Really, I wondered how I'd gotten through the last three years at high school without any teachers calling me out for my bull.

"You're so weird," said Dacey into my ear as I grunted, lifting a suitcase into the back of my family's prize SUV. (My dad had reminded me of a little kid who had been let loose in a candy store when my family came to the car dealership to get him his dream vehicle for his fiftieth birthday.) "You're not going to say anything?"

Feeling completely conspicuous, I adjusted the Bluetooth device in my ear and winced. "Why would I? I mean, I don't owe him anything."

Bullshit.

"You do!" Dacey screeched. My wince grew more pronounced, and I had to step aside as my brother sent me a puzzled look, loading his own gear into the back of the car. Dacey continued shrieking (destroying my ear drums in the process), "He fucking confessed to you, and you couldn't even say anything, you stupid bitch!"

Carter poked my shoulder, and when I turned to meet his eyes with pursed lips, he mouthed, pointing to my Bluetooth, "Who is that?"

I didn't really have to answer since Dacey just kept going on, like I had murdered my own mother and she was the Pope, "What do you think he's thinking now, huh?" She threw on her best "guy" voice, and with that, Carter's lips quirked up. He nodded and disappeared back into my house, probably to grab yet some more bags. (This was the day that my brother packed more than I did, which almost never happened.) "Oh, Lottie didn't say anything. She probably likes me back, yo, and everything's just great."

"Please don't ever use that voice again" was the only weak response that I could conjure.

Dacey clucked. "You're stupid," she said once again.

"That's nice," I responded absent-mindedly, fiddling with my bag. I was going to stuff it further in the car so my brother wouldn't have any issues with fitting in his. I was such a kind person that way.

"No, take me seriously, Lottie," said Dacey. She paused. "I mean, after I opened up to Carter about my, like, real interests, everything just...everything was right for me." She let out a happy sigh. "And now, we text every day."

I could just imagine the little smirk on her face as she said this, lounging on her couch and re-painting her nails, probably. This was easy for her to say—my brother hadn't quite yet confessed his love for her, but he'd certainly gotten a lot more amiable once he figured out that she wasn't always a nut whose only aspiration in life was to attend his college (which was, admittedly, a fantastic place). And really, that starting point was all she ever wanted. Dacey knew what she was doing when it came to guys...I wished I did.

"Texting is absolutely fascinating," I responded to her, crossing my arms as I watched my mom throw in a bag full of cooking supplies. It was kind of fun to watch her face—-she thought I was taking to myself—-and just because I was a tease, I added to Dacey, "And yeah, he's, like, so hot."

I'd never seen my mom look so scandalized before.

After sending her off with a wink, I returned my full attention to Dacey, who had been completely silent for those few seconds. Not hearing Dacey's screechy voice in my ear felt strange, I found. "What?" I said.