Unbroken...

G's Pov-

G’s Pov- 

 We queitly walk towards our aparments, I live across the hall with Hana, but she mostly spends her time with her boyfrined so I'm usually alone. We all part into our own homes, I give Bel one last hug, before shehides away.

So many thoughts run through my mind.

She hasn’t told anyone? At all? When did she start this? I have so many question for her, but I don’t want to overwhelm her. She seems so new to this. There is one question that irks me though: its that she knows what it does because of my history, but why does she continue to do it? 

When I was 10 or 11 years old, my parents were begging to fight. They just fight to fight, but when they really did actually fight, it was fierce and scary and horrifying. Especially for me, I always looked at them for inspiration. But there was never happiness, with them going at each other in front of me and my younger siblings. I was the oldest one to understand, I told them it would be over and we would be happy again. But it didn’t really happen, for awhile we got used to it, but it would never be the same. I remember the night everything changed:

My parents had gotten into a big fight which led to banging on the walls and slamming the doors. My mom left us, and my dad be came an alcoholic and he was barely at home. He only was really home if he was really drunk or if he ran out of money. But we barely got to see him. So since then, I’ve always taken care of my family, and at hard times I used to cut myself only when I knew no one was there. Where no one could see me break down and hurt myself to at least feel something rather than nothing.

My younger siblings didn't fully comprehend what was happening, what they only knew that I was pretty much in charge because mom went away, and dad was really dad anymore. That's pretty much more than you could imagine a 6 and 7 year old to understand. But now Maddie and Jake live together down town, I talk to both of them everyday, they are so brave and strong, but even though we have a close bond, they still don't know that I had done self harm. And everyday I try to tell them, but I can't bring my heart to tell them, becuase Jake aready depieses dad. For becoming what he is, but I know it's not totally his fault becasue it was also my moms fault for leaving, createing the monster that we call dad. 

We havn't seen or heard from mom since she left, I even remember the date, October 15, 2002. I was on my way home from picking up Jake from football practice since Maddie and I had a gymnastics class across the street from the park. I remeber walking in, and seeing the clothes, scattered all over the floor and bags and totes filled with femine items. Maddie and Jake were behind me and I couldn't  bare them to see, so I made up a quick game/lie. I told them if they could go up the stairs with there eyes closed as fast as they could, I would give them a surprise. I also told them that they had to go into my room and lock the door, and wait for my secrete knock. I also rember hiding in a corner of my kitchen, behind the dinner table. Hearing the screams, they were life scarring, and sickening, those words they screamed at eachother. Even though I had to stay strong, the last words my mom told my father, hurt me more than if could have possibly hurt him. Then it hit me, both of the kids and I have walkie-talkies, I called them telling them I won't be up for a little while and that they are going to spend the night with me. I've had so many secretes, like I had taken a small tv set and placed it in my closet, and a mini fridge in my spare room. 

Before the kids, everyone was always smothering me, I liked it at some points but it could be really annoying. Anyways, I guess I watching this movie or something where the girl had the whole top floor to herslef liker her own house, so that was my parents did for me. I had my own little "house", then the kids came, And I still share, my stuff becuase they are all I have left. 

So they fell asleep watching the movie Robots, Jake's favorite movie, while eating pudding cups that I had snuck from the hurricane shelter. Most times if the fights were dangerous we spent the night there, Maddie would always ask why, but i could never tell her the truth, she was the youngest, and I couldn't corrupt her youth. That was sacred, keeping their youth as happy as I could keep it. I try so very hard, but some days.. well put it this way I can't keep them from everything, I can't control what happens to their, our, family.