Strange. Strange. Strange. Okay so my family pride them selves on being close and lovey dovey. So answer me this massive garden party and mum said i cant come why?. Its been like this was since i can remember. I don't see anyone and don't go to school. Okay ill admit it I'm weird multicoloured hair and all. But its not like I'm a murderer or anything. Oh and another thing they have pictures all over the house but none are of me. I am well and truly hated its like i don't exist. I live in the attic i see no one but my family.and when its family photo time I'm never there even though i don't go out. And when my family discuss memory of as kids us I'm always left out. Its like i was a mistake. Wait i probably was. My family and evil and boring. its like shoving a red skittle in with a bunch of imperial mints they don't taste the same look the same act the same anyone would think i was.....
Adopted. On shit I'm adopted no wonder of course i am. But then who are my mum and dad and why did they give me up. I need to find them and fast as when i turn 16 i will be one of THEM.
29 days to go
i slowly creep into mums and dads bedroom. Everyone is at the garden party so I'm safe. Now where could it be. No it isn't be on the bed. No it isnt in the draw. It isn't in on on the wardrobe. Mmm what about that box with the big flashing signs pointing towards it that say the truth about Clara-May. Nahhhhhhh wont be in there.
Okay i have torn mum and dads room apart and all that's left is that dumb box i guess there is not hard in trying. I walk over to mums dresser and pick up the box. Suddenly there is a loud click and the ceiling falls through to revel a big boulder. Shit. I run as fast as my legs with carry my and it rolls after me. I have an act of randomness and take out my phone.
"Oppan Gangnam Style
Gangnam Style
Na je nun ta sa ro un in gan jo gin yo ja
Ko pi han ja ne yo yu rul a neun pum gyo gi nun yo ja
Ba mi o myon shim ja ngi tu go wo ji nun yo ja
Gu ron ban jon i nun yo ja"
the boulder stops and two legs and two arms appear and the boulder starts doing gangnam style. Okay leave phone and run.
Gangnam style had just got to the chorus when i got to the front door i reached for the handle when a voice startled me. Standing behind me was a witch that looked just like my mum haha. " so you know the truth now do you" i didn't even bother to reply. I pulled out a packet of skittles from my pocket and put them it my mouth i chewed and swallowed them. Turned my back to her bent over. Grabbed my knees and did a nyan cat. Yes i sat my rainbow all over that witch. She flew against the wall "nooo don't wipe your pretty shit on me please i beg of you" i ate more and more skittles and sat all i could. My witch of a mother started to scream "I'm melting I'm melting" then she went quiet. Just in time i ran out of skittles. I stood up and turned around i was no longer in my room i was in a big circular room. The my witch of a mother appeared "you will be locked in this tower for 30 days till you are taken by the chocolate muffins and beaten with baseball bats hahahahaha". My witch of a mother finally disappears and I'm left alone with only my child hood toys. After about an hour i decided i had to get out i grabbed my climbing gear and got to it. By climbing gear i mean i stuck Teddy's to me so when i fall i have a softer landing.
About two meters from the bottom a cascade of hair is flung down. And standing at the top of the tower it a blond girl chewing chewing gum and feeding a baby. "alright love don't mind me you know terry well he just jogged off with Sam and I'm left with Theresa" i block her out and notice her long hair i take it in my grasp and start to climb down. It so greasy i start to slip a good thing really and a army of warrior nits start shooting at me. All of a sudden chavella slips out the window with her baby and we all topple to the ground. I hear a dry crack and think the worst. The baby. But no a small baby wearing a nappy stands up and brushes himself off. "i thank you very kindly you will be rewarded if anyone asked she fell" i stood confused. "she did fall didn't she" the baby clutched his stomach and began o giggle. "no no no i pushed her and snapped her neck the vile woman" just as he said that a clown car pulled up and with that the baby was gone. Meh.
I walked for many days and nights with nothing to eat or drink. I walked in the sweltering heat and and freezing cold 27 days had passed and i was running out of time. On the 27th day i found my self opening my garden gate and stepping out into the world. Okay look I'm not usain bolt okay I'm more slowest snail alive. Okay three days and I'm taken mmmmm what now. Find my parents naaaa. Find out the truth naaaaa. Go to macceys yessss. Up up and away with the fairy's.
"That 15 pounds" oh shit i have no money its okay i can do this. I slowly bent over and shat my last rainbow when nyan cat walked in. "you its you the one that stole my job eat my rainbows bitch". just then nyan cat shot me with its rainbow. My life flashed before my eyes. I could feel myself slowly dieing. "mam are you going to stand up you didnt even get shot damn drama queen". Okay embarrasing moment number one. Shit embarasing moment number to i rainbow shat myself. Oh fudge sticks. "Clara-May i am your father" a tall woman with black hair and a handbag said. "wait you a girl" she slapped her palm to her forhead and put her bag down. "well you see it was a cool line and im an over lord im ment to be a man and you are a jedi now come we must train you to face you desteny".
Dun Dun Dunnnnnn
