Absent

-5-

Death isn't something you can predict or foresee. Even when you're told you have a limited amount of time left, the exact day when you die isn't known until it arrives.

Most of the time, however, death comes unannounced, unexpected, and unwelcome.

Yet... when you live your life as if tomorrow didn't exist or matter, when you live just the moment, doing what you want even if it's the most futile thing ever, then when death comes, you're ready for it. Or at least, you know it was time and accept it. Or at least, that's how it was for me.

It was an accident, fast and painless. It was a loud and strenuous boom, light, and then darkness, complete and suffocating darkness. I don't remember the pain, I think my brain didn't have the time to process that. It was over before the synapsis was made, I believe.

By the time darkness dissipated and I was able to see again, sirens and shouts were heard, fire came out from my car that lied upside-down and the minor truck I collided against on its side. Firemen and paramedics were taking a body out of the truck and others were covering the one lying next to my car. I could only see one arm that snuck from under the white sheet, and it had all my bracelets.

I didn't feel panic or any fear when I realised the dead body was me. I didn't feel scared when I realised I was dead.

"So this is how I die," I murmured, nodding my head ever so lightly.

There were many things I left unfinished, even a graphic novel, but nothing of that haunted me or made me uneasy. I think no matter what, you always leave unfinished business in Earth. What determines if you stay longer or no isn't whether there's something you have left to do, but whether you should've died at that time or not.

My death was like a mere accident, fortuitous and inevitable. It was my time.

I looked around because my experience with ghosts had taught me one thing: there was always a Grim Reaper around. One had to come for me, too.

I felt the change around, like the air was charged with electricity, there was even a buzzing above the noise of the ruckus around the accident, and I knew it was time, someone was coming for me. I looked away from my body and found the Grim Reaper. Just like every time, it didn't have defined shape or face, it was just an entity standing there, inviting me to approach. I tried to picture it like a girl, a seventeen-year-old girl I met twenty years ago, with short light brown frizzy hair, brown eyes like milky chocolate and the liveliest smile I've ever seen. The Grim Reaper started to look like her when I set my mind on it, making the deal easier for me.

I walked towards it, feeling at ease yet anxious because it was time to leave this dimension and meet Paige in the next. This Grim Reaper would take me to her.

"I'm ready," I told it and I could see its smile, almost as warm as Paige's, but I could also tell it was just an imitation. But that was okay, I would see her soon, nonetheless.

The Reaper nodded and placed its hand on my shoulder, like I had seen countless times happening over the years; the moment it did, everything made sense. I didn't know everything, but I felt like I did. Like all the lessons were with me and that gave me such sense of peace. In my heart I knew things that had never had an answer before, like why I could see ghosts.

Of course, I could see ghosts because of Paige. Because I was supposed to meet her and see her. Because, even as different beings, our paths were bound to cross and our souls to meet. I wasn't born with the Sight, I acquired it the moment Paige made her choice.

Everything makes sense, not in my head, but in my very core, and I feel whole. I understand now why Paige looked so happy and satisfied the moment she left me, even if I was falling to pieces. Now it makes perfect sense, and if this is how she felt back then, I'm even happier I let her go.

What are twenty years when you know you're soul mates and no matter what, you'll always find each other?

So I let the Grim Reaper take me to my soul mate, anticipating every second, even if these don't matter anymore. And it's an easy journey, I don't even feel it. It's just... being there. Light that swallows it all and then vanishes until there's a different place. But nothing around matters to me because there's one thing I can focus on, only one figure what catches my whole attention and makes me smile.

She looks exactly how she did when I met her and even if I don't, even if I have changed, that doesn't really matter. Age doesn't apply to soul, at least not as it does for human bodies, so whether I died at seventeen, like Paige, or at thirty-seven, like I did, that is totally irrelevant. Besides, here it really doesn't matter how you look. It's past that.

She smiles brightly at me, even more beautifully than when we were together because now there's no sorrow in her eyes. It's just content and that is the most precious thing I've ever seen.

"James!" she cries, her eyes never leaving mine as she starts jogging towards me, then running and doesn't stop until she's in my arms, tightly pressed against me. I hold her tighter than ever, closing my eyes and enjoying the warmth of this moment. The perfection and rightness of this encounter.

"My Paige," I murmur in her hair, pulling a bit back, enough to see her face as I brush hair off of her face. "My Paige. It's finally you."

Giggling, she replies, "I've missed you so much."

"So did I," I intone, the smile never leaving my lips. "I'm finally here."

"How it should be." She presses her forehead against mine, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "And don't worry, we have a lot time together before we go to the living world again."

"And even then we'll meet again," I predict, knowing her smile is just like mine.

"Most definitely." Paige opens her eyes to look in mine, letting me know the love we had when I was alive is still there, still burning bright. "Welcome, James. I've been waiting for you."

"I'm finally home," I mutter, because even if my parents never cared for me, even if I didn't make many or real friends when I was alive, even if I never was able to fall in love again, even if I was content with my single life, doing what I wanted, living wherever I wanted, I was never home because that has always been next to Paige. When she's in my arms is when I truly feel at home. And after twenty years of wait, it's good to be home again.

-The End-

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And this is how Absent ends! Yay, together again. You know know what happened to James during those years and such. It was just a general view, but I hope it was enough for you, guys. Thank you for reading this! Tomorrow it's the end of Crushed and next week we start with HAUNTED! I hope you'll read that, too.

Last dedication to 21GissDankworth

Bel, xx