Chapter 2
it's harder to reach you
Camile's
Camp out
that is the only thing i should do in order for me to have the closest place to the stage. and it was so hard.
March 21 is the day that my whole life will change and i know that it is for the better.
the concert is at night but it's just 6 am and i'm already here i'm one of the first 50 to go inside to it is easy to find a spot. and i have a big problem i have to constantly use the bathroom because of my monthly visitor. the timing is so bad i just hope i won't get irritated or annoyed or mad because that is mostly my moods when i have my period. i am meeting with my internet bestfriend we've met once so we are really comfortable with each other. i told her i'm going to the bathroom to check and when i get there i'm alone.
it's already around 8pm and the concert hasn't started yet some day went to entertain us at 7pm. where are they? i've been waiting for them for so long and it's dreading.
about 9pm the long wait was finally cut short when they went to the stage and performed midnight memories. i have never been this happy in my entire life.
like everything is so surreal and life was given a whole new meaning. i know i wasn't the only one who is this happy, it's all of all here who have been waiting for them for years.
when the song little things came i got so emotional. it was unusual for me to be this and it's the hormones speaking right now.
i heard niall laugh. it was the most adorablest sound i heard next to his voice. that made me cry harder and i don't know why. if i were to see myself right i would've laughed at myself because i look stupid.
the song finished and i calmed myself a little bit. the next song is one of my favorites because it's so catchy and the meaning is so beautiful.
louis' part came and niall went to the other side of the stage near the audience. oh my god! is he gonna do what i think it is?
he held the fan's hand in the first row which i happen to be in. i held his hand for so long and i can feel he doesn't even wanna let go too. this is so bizzare and spontaneous
after a few second he lets go of my hand and then it hit me, he wasn't mine to keep, he wasn't anyone's, he was himself's and not a fan can change that, not even me.
the concert ended with his touch still lingering. i had always wished for this but now that it's here why am i sad and not contented. that was some once in a lifetime opportunity and i had it. maybe it was because i wanted more from you and i know you couldnt give that.
***
i had a hard time sleeping. your laugh, the way you look, your smile, your voice, your touch haunts me and i know there is no way possible that i can escape that.
i had thought about day 2 vip tickets but i know more people deserve that, other fans who have been waiting and havent had a chance to attend day 1.
***
it was a sunday today and i just got home from church. i had always prayed for you and you came.
even though it was only for a night. i was thankful for you because you make me so happy and you keep my mind off of bad things.
i would never want this to end but i know that it's 100% impossible. it's better not to expect about things that will only get me disappointed
