Always Number Two (Matt Miller x Reader)

Chapter 17 ~ My Own Personal Hell, Shit, it's Matt

I blinked awake.

"Oh, gosh golly, what a terrible dream!" I exclaimed. How insane was it! Our neighbours, the Flanders, would love to hear about this doozy! I sniffed the air. Something smelt delicious! "I wonder what Angel is cooking me today!"

I strode downstairs, happy just to be alive. "Hello, darling! What's on the menu for today?" I smiled at Angel. She had one of her ol' hopsock dresses on, and looked prettier than a glamour girl!

"Pancakes!" Angel exclaimed. She put it before me, and I dug straight in! "Lessee... well, by gosh darn golly, a couple people stopped by! Mr. _______ is waiting to take ya for that tour you've been so excited about, yep!"

I stood from the table. "Well, gosh, Angel, I can't keep him waiting, now can I?"

"Have a good day, darling!" Angel called.

"I will, love!"

I walked outside, and for sure, there was Mr. ______!

"Do you wanna drive, President?" He asked.

"I sure do!" I replied.

I got in the driver's side, and he, in the passenger's side.

We began driving down the road. My face fell.

"Wait a gosh darn second, something isn't right about this...car..."

"Just keep driving, President!" The man said cheerfully.

If I turned it to the right, it stayed right in the middle of the road. I took my hands off of the steering wheel. The car turned the corner by itself.

"Gee, President, you're a good driver!" The man said. "Here we are!"

We pulled up to a diner. A boy outside wanted a photo.

"Thank ya kindly!" He said.

Something was really off.

I entered the diner.

"Holy...F**cking....shit..."

"We don't say that word here, president."

Alike to zombies, the citizens closed in on me. I ran out of the diner, and noticed they were attacking my car. I jumped in and hit the gas. Everything went back to normal, and nobody chased after me.

"H..."

A crackling sound from nowhere.

"...Hello?"

A familiar British voice.

"Matt Miller?" I asked. "Matt f**king Miller?" Something was bleeping out all my pretty words.

That really pissed me off.

"Uh...yes." He said, awkwardly. "You're in a simulation created by these aliens. I broke myself out, but I figured that I might as well start with you. I need the Saints."

I sighed.

"Anyways, uhm, I decided to take you out of the simulation first. Since you could possibly help me since you're much better at carnage than I am." He said, happily.

Ah, fuck. I'll take it. Anything to get out of this god damn hellhole.

"The fuck do I need to do, Matt? Get to the point." I muttered. Looking for help from someone who has tried to kill me three times wasn't exactly comforting in any way.

"Well, you're not gonna like this, but I need you to go to the park and, well, be you." Matt said. He sounded a little uncertain.

"What the fuck would I not like about being me?" I asked Matt. I could almost feel him shrug.

I really hated it when other people shrugged. Except for Kinzie. Kinzie had a mental problem. I gritted my teeth. 

"Just... Uh, get to the park, okay?" 

I stepped on the gas pedal, and crashed into the fence. How accommodating it was, to move over to the side so I could park my car. I heard the wails of police sirens. 

"Matt, the fuck is going on?" 

"You've gotta disrupt the simulation so I can get you out of there. The Admin of the simulation seems to be called Jackie. You gotta find them." 

Someone named Jackie, huh? Reaaaaaaaal fun. 

"Then what?"

"Then you proceed to remove it so I can install a virus. We'll then control this area for a small period of time."

"Matt, you're being a nerd again." 

He let out a frustrated groan. "You need to kill Jackie, so I can get you back." 

"Got it."

A small tremor turned large, like an earthquake, hit the ground. 

"You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?" 

That mother fucking police officer. The man who took me away from the house.

His name was Jackie. His last name was _____.

He flew into the air, leaving a giant crack in the pavement before him. He crashed down next to me, and nailed me in the face. I flew across the park, into the cat fountain. 

"Uh, uh, uh..." I could hear Matt freaking out, and a boop. "Okay. Okay, so, there's a present for you in the fountain you just landed in." 

I stood up.

Fuck yes. Fuck yes! I loved Matt. Just for about 3 seconds. I grabbed the rocket launcher, and pointed it at Jackie, who was three steps away. Then I did something really stupid. 

I shot him. 

Why was it stupid?

A) I was three, literally three steps away.

B) I would be caught in the blast.

C) Did you not see the recoil of a rocket launcher? 

I flew into the air, and Jackie flew into the town hall. I crashed into a breakfast restaurant, and took someone's  croissant, stuffing it in my mouth. It was, at least, a 3. 

Jackie's 'avatar' began glitching out, and fell to the floor.

"Okay. Okay! Her-!"

Matt cut out.

"Hey, hey....Matt? Matt?" I yelled, to the sky, where he seemed to be coming from.

"Now, now." That Zinyak motherfucker appeared where I was looking. "You're being verrrry naughty."

"Do you want to kill me, or fuck me? I'm getting mixed signals here. I mean, choose one, not both." I said, cockily.

"How cute." Zinyak rolled his eyes.

"Again, mixed signals."

"You're not going to escape, ____." Zinyak said. The ground under me disappeared, and I was falling. 

It kinda looked like Steelport- with Hitler-like propaganda. 

"Fuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............!" I screamed. 

I hit the floor, and blacked out.