Always Number Two (Matt Miller x Reader)

Chapter 27 ~ Have Some Maple Syrup For Your Maple Fuck Up

"Come on, boss. Have some maple syrup for your maple fuck up." Kinzie literally doused my pancakes in syrup. I moaned [more in angst rather than pleasure. Not as fun as it sounds.] And smashed my head against the table voluntarily until blood came out.

"Kinzie, this does not make me feel better." I sigh. "Why can't I just say what I feel?"

"It's because you're programmed to be an asshole." She shrugged, and began to help herself to some of my pancakes.

"But it's DIFFICULT. I want to say one thing, and another comes out!"

"To be fair, Miller counts as a girl. Does he actually have a penis or did you have to use a strap-on? He could just be a really flat chested girl. Or his parents could have wanted a boy. Either way, he-"

The sound of electrical alien doors sliding open caught us both off guard. Matt was looking pissed off. I wouldn't blame him.

I was a dick, after all.

He sat beside me, and I froze up. He took a good chunk out of my pancakes. I wasn't even gonna stop him.

"Kinzie, can you please leave the room?" He asked.

She was already gone.

Matt turned to me.

"So, what were we talking about? Girly gossip?"

"No, Matt. We were talking about having some maple syrup for my maple fuck up."

"I'm pretty sure I heard you say, 'why can't I just say what I feel'? So what was that about?" He rested his chin on his palm, his elbow on the table beside the pancakes.

"I despise you, Matt Miller! Shit. You're a fucking worthless- double shit!" I cursed. Three times. Because I can't DO IT.

"I'm sure I should just translate everything you say to opposites." Matt shrugged. "So, you're saying, 'I <3 Matt because he's a L33T moth3rfuck3r."

That nerd talk was still infuriating, but attractive in its own way. I grabbed Matt's collar.

And then I punched him in the face. He hit the floor.

"I'm saying I think Matt Miller is okay because he's a slightly okay hacker." I said, flatly. Inside, I was burning up. Despite bleeding from the nose, Matt was grinning.

"I couldn't stop thinking about what happened between us. I shouldn't have gotten angry; you're literally a sociopath, so of course you're confused when met by feelings."

"If I was any more insulted, you'd be dead right now."

"But I'm not dead, and you're not insulted." 

"Matt, you're a faggot."

"I'm the faggot that got all up inside you."

"I'm going to hurt you."

"I know. Wait, what!?"

I slammed my fist into Matt's face, causing him to bowl over in pain. He rolled on the floor, holding his face. He didn't seem to have expected me to hit him; he was currently suffering. 

"HAHAHAHAHA. CRITICAL HIT, BITCH!" 

Even the ship was laughing at him.