Lost in Wonderland

Where do I begin?

We pulled up to the restaurant in my parents Escalade. The whole ride here was silent, and filled with an awkward air. There was soft jazz music playing in the background. My parents were dressed all prim and proper. My mother's hair and makeup was done to a tee, not even little baby hairs were sticking out from her fancy up do. My father looked like he was ready for business, his normal black suit tailored to fit nicely, and his Italian leather dress shoes were so polished that they shone in the light. Now I felt like I was under dressed.

We all shuffled into my fathers restaurant, we were eating here because the client wanted to get a good feel of what the place was like. I didn't understand why I had to come. He usually only brings my mother along on these escapades, they thought that if I was brought along I'd embarrass them. I have been to this specific restaurant a thousand times. It was decorated in blacks and reds. Very sexy, and perfect for romance. It's the kind of place couples would come to have a romantic night on the town. Not a family restaurant.

We arrived at a table seated near the window. You could see the beautiful mountains from here. I looked around the table and found my fathers new client and his family rising to greet us. There were four of them. A man about 40, he had red hair and brown eyes, an older women who I assume is his wife, she had black hair with blue eyes, and twin girls around eight, they had light brown hair one with brown eyes, the other with blue. "Hello I am George we spoke on the phone. This is my wife Katelyn, and our daughter Alice", my father said to the other family. I smiled and said hello to the family.

"Hi my name is Franklin McCrae this is my wife Cathy, our two daughters Ella, and Belle. Our son is-", the man was abruptly cut off by what looked to be a boy one year older than me.

"I am so sorry that I ran late. I found this amazing park, to read my book at. I guess that I just got lost in my book and didn't happen to realize how much time had passed by", he huffed out. His cheek were tinted pink, most likely from running in the cool weather.

My father let out a chuckle (it was fake, my father hated when people were late), he looked at the boy as if he were gum on the bottom of a shoe. "It is okay son. No need to worry, my daughter loves to read as well, so we understand", my father replied to the boy, who's name we still haven't yet learn't. The boy looked up at me gave me this heart stopping smile. I could feel the warmth in my neck starting to grow, so I quickly turned to look somewhere else.

"This is my son Chance, he tends to get caught up in books quite often", Mr.McCrae told my family. My mom looked like she was analyzing the other family. Seeing if they were good enough to communicate with her. I scrunched my nose up in distaste at her as we all took are seats. I was seated next to Chance. "So why don't we all look at the menus, and then order", my father suggested. I already knew what I wanted. A simple garden salad with the vegetable penne for an entree. I felt slightly awkward, I could tell Chance wanted to ask me something because he I could feel his eyes on me.

Finally he asked his question, "What's the best thing on the menu".

I was so nervous. I don't talk to boys. Especially ones that our close to my age. I could feel my palms start to get clammy. Oh god please don't have an anxiety attack. I focused on my breathing. In and out, in and out, in and out. I slowly started calming down. "Are you okay", he whispered into my ear.

I nodded my head quickly and excused myself to the restroom. I could feel my father's eyes on me. Either he knew I just had a very small attack or he thought I was being disrespectful. Knowing my father most likely the alternative. I slowed my pace down once I saw the girls restroom sign. Slowly pushing into the ladies room I took in a deep breath and let go of all that anxiety.

I looked up into the mirror and saw a girl. I think she looked weak. She looked as if she was carrying the whole entire world on her shoulders. She was ugly, her clothing hid the scars of the past. She was definitely a weirdo. Who would ever want to be friends with someone who looked like her. That girl in the mirror is me. I make myself sick, I understand why no one loves me. Even I don't love me. Who would want to. I'm a terrible person. A waist of oxygen.

I didn't realize I was crying again until I felt the salty wetness of my tears on my lips. I am pathetic I am in the restrooms crying because I cannot talk to a simple human being. I cannot answer a simple question. All he asked was "What's the best thing on the menu", and I failed to answer it.

"Alice enough of this foolishness. Your father is extremely angry. Come out of there this instance and get back to our table", called my mother through the door in a snappy tone.

I wiped away my tears, made sure I looked presentable and opened the door. My mother gave me a look of disgust. She turned and marched back to the table in her Prada heels. I straightened my back and followed. My father was glaring at me , and the boy was glancing at me with sympathy.

I smiled at him and said, "The eggplant parmesan is my favourite". He said thank you, and the conversation went from there. I needed to talk or else my lecture will be even worse when I get home. I answered all questions thrown my way with a confident answer. That's how my night went, well until I got home...