Fighting (To Be Yours)

Chapter 5

My heart raced with an urgency that I knew very well, the fear and anxiety thta had befallen me had attacked suddenly and without mercy. I always had these panic attacks, I didn't know if the problem was one that was shared throughout the small community of victors but it happened daily for me. I was haunted with the ghosts of my past, and some of them that came for the future. They cried and shouted at me, some begging for mercy and some screaming for vengenace. All of them had died or been wronged because of me. All of them. As the Red Luna, everything somehow tied back to me; an unfair system but that seemed t be the theme amongst the Gods'. As I paced my small room, wringing my hands, the usual thoughts and fears bombarded onto me. What would hppen if Ander wasn't there to stop them? Would they yell and scream at me the way they did when I was younger, or had time healed their wounds? Would I ever be rid of the demons who seemed to always want a peice of my flesh every night?

Ander was normally there to protect me, to wrap his chocolatey arm around me and keep me safe from everything that screeched in my head. He was late, though. Then a cold fear slid down my body, coating my every pore from my head to my toe. What if he'd finally gotten tired of my shit? What if he'd realized that his human, his Karen, was a more suitable match than I was? Because, if I face the truth like the adult I was supposed to be, she really was an ideal package. Easy- access, down to earth family, straight A student, bright dancing career. She even had one foot up on me in the height department. It wouldn't have shocked me, if he had finally gotten out of the Luna fog and finally realized that I was the wost decision for him; it would be fate serving me one last kick in the face to make sure I'd lost al my teeth. A shiver went through my body as I tried to blink out of the fog of exhaustion that seemed to be coming on a bit too fast.

My palms grew sweaty and my fangs grew out of fear and anger, I was sick and tired of being afraid. I couldn't help it though, even as I crawled into my bed with regret. I'd have to face the night alone, it seemed, and brave against the caterwhauling of my monsters. With miracuality the window slid open and a panting Ander slid into my room. With relief I flew off of my bed and into his arms, not caring about anything. The slime slowly slid off my body as I breathed in his strong scent of cinnamon, boy, and forest.

"Luna." He said softly, cradling my head against his chest as my body shivered from fear.

"Where were you? You scared the shit outta me for like ten seconds!" I whisper scremaed, acking away from him and slapping his arm for good measure.

"Mom wanted me to help her out with the dishes and I lost track of time." A tangy smell hit my nose and it twitched slightly, a lie. MY heart sank, I knew it would come to this eventually; I'd just been foolish enough to hope it wouldn't come for a while. Looking closer I saw the slight redness of his lips and smelled the slightest trace of perfume from Bath and Body Works permeating his scent.

"You don't have to lie, ya know. If you were with her, it's fine. I'm not anyone's mother to say who you should and shouldn't date, and even then I'm pretty sure Sarah wouldn;t give a shake of a rat's til who you dated so long as it didn't bother the pack." I said, my voice growing stronger with very vowel; inside I was dying, I hated it so much.

"It hurts you, and I hate hurting you." HE sounded so contrite as he reached out for me, I wouldn't move. His arms wrapped around me and suddenly his scent was everywhere around me; he'd enfolded me in his arms and I had no idea when he would let me go. A soft kiss fell on the top of my head before he released me and went around to his side of the bed. He peeled off al his clothes and, ont for the first time I watched him undress. It was one of my little treasures, a treat to myself for being a good girl to the Gods' and not bringing down their entire reign.

His muscles flexed with power as he lifted his shirt above his head, every muslce moving with sleekness until he'd succesfully pulled the entire article of clothing off. He bundled it up and threw it somewhere on his side of the room, then workde on unbuttoning his jeans. I could see the white strip of his underwear and it served as a slow slide of hell as he stepped out of his jeans. My eyes blinked rapidly as the full scale of his underwear was shown to me; my cheeks blushing something fierce. I climbed into the bed, hopped under my comforter and hoped to the Gods' he didn't see me blush. I knew he knew I watched, it just showed how good of a person he was to not say anything, to stay quiet and let me revel in someone elses' picture. Like the owner of a candy shop that watches the kids who can't afford candy watch with hunger in their eyes; wanting a lick badly. And God, how I wanted a lick.

I squeezed my eyes closed and bundled the comforter under my chin, squezing my legs together and pretending I didn't exist so that I might slip into sleepy oblivion faster. With a deep sigh he slid in behind me, making me wait a delayed moment before his strong arm wrapped around me sending sparks all along my body. He didn't move closer to me, though, and left me in tht awkward stage between begging and pleading. I didn't want to do either, but I felt like nothing would be done unless I did.

"I can't... advance you if you smell like that Luna." HE growled out through clenched teeth, making me look back at him. I gasped softly at the sight that beheld me, and my inner wolf paracically howled in glee. Hos normally cool blue ees were now flecked with amber, most of his pupil had been dilated and one fang popped out from under his full lips. HE wants us, I knew it!! My wolf practically shouted as my arousal peaked.

"Luna... I can't help you if you don't help me." HE groaned, his accent getting heavier until he was practically cockney. I could do nothing but blink and stare, and try to keep my wolf from taking over and humping the ever loving shit out of him. His eyes shut and when they opened again they were fully blue, he'd gained control of himself; but I was far from that powerful feat. His arm raised and he cupped the back of my neck, nipping it slightly. I whimpered softly as my eyes fluttered closed slowly.

"Karen Matthews, I am with her. I love her and she loves me, she gave me a promise ring and I returned the favor." His voice was slow and comforting but the words sent ice cold water down the front of my shirt and succesfuly doused my wolf. I nodded once in thanks and let my anger overpower any remaing arousal that I may have had. HE sighed in sorrow acceptance and tugged me closer to his body and wrapping his arm around my waist tighter. I almost wanted to growl and lash out on him. How could he not see or feel it!! WE molded perfectly together! WE had the chemistry!! It was US that needed to have promise rings, hell any kind of ring that would show every one that it was me and him that was meant to be together; not some stupid Karen man-stealing-bitch Matthews who wouldn't know a pup from a cocker spaniel!

"Don't over think it, please Luna. I'm begging you, just sleep. I'm here to protect you, I came." He whispered softly in my hair, rubbing my arm under the covers.

"I'll always come." With those words I alowed myself to slip into blisfful sleep, knowing I had my own victor to fight against my demons for me.