Doesn't anyone see my screams or am i silenced by the out cry of popularity once again. no one hears the screams no one sees me cry but what did i do nothing, just sat back and watched people walk by and glare at me with the look of disgrace and whisper the evils words of society and just watch at teacher say nothing mothers keep walking and worst of all friends do nothing.
i want to be in the i crowd be popular and cool looking pretty and flawless but I'm not i will never be and what is this for just a status thats right.. i hate my self and everyone doesn't see behind the mask of happiness but behind is it a broken and shattered girl that hides and that scared to even be front and center.
doesn't anyone see i do the things i do so people notice but in the end no one cares. home life such school even worse life not what i wanted. harboring secrets and seeing that no one even cares.
At home the little sister became center of attention and at school not even my boyfriend cares to be seen with me. friends? what friends. I'm alone at last.. but it hurts i want to cry and lose it all because I'm lost and broken in bites no one can fix.
its not the fact I'm alone or feel alone. its the fact I'm scared of being alone, i hate distance between me and people, because i have a fear of people walking away from me. or even the small amount of time we don't talk. i like the time by myself but it scares me.
life isn't what people make it out to be and you sit here and you have to accept things you don't want to here and you don't want. but as soon as you see what you love and have worked for walking away you,yourself is fading away and you feel like no one will remember you and honestly you just normalcy but you don't even know what that is and your scared to see what happens if they see everything and your scared to accept the fact nothing is perfect anymore and you just wan thing back to a normalcy but how do i do this with out accepting something that you did. all you know is the one thing in life you actually want is going to disappear but thats not what you want. you only want him.
the sorrow and pain, and everything you worked for is slowly slipping through your finger tips and you can't grab and hold on any longer and you want everything back and you fall in to a deep sleep and lose everything you ever worked for and the family you once seen is now a nightmare and your in tears wish he would see what your thinking and see what hurts you, doesn't anyone see my tears or even the tears i cry and the Screams i et out or am i the silent girl no one can see or hear.
your all i need and I'm scared of what comes next. no one sees the writing i have or understands where it come from nor where i can't so much passion to writing how i feel in fear that someone will see, but this isn't an out cry for attention this is just a work of art, no one knows what i am capable of with works and art nor the musical talent i hold i rather not show anyone even though i could prove everyone wrong but why should i do that be yelled at i could better.
doesn't anyone see why i do this or why i write? no one understand the meaning of my word, and i don't care i rather hide than being seen its just a stage Im getting ready for and i don't understand why people don't see the act i have started one he can see through me and it hurts me to say that i put on a show so people don't question me and and worry about that magical plays i have and or see what I'm feeling.
can i just be my self and not be question or is that to late? I'm not sure, and i can't imagine whats going to happen if i slip in to state of depression, no one will understand and ill be 'fake' as its put but its not I'm scared of that and I'm scared to see what would happen if the truth comes out of the girl thats known o be happy and full of life and that everyone goes to for help...Just wait something tragic will happen and no one will see it happen.
