New Boy

Chapter 22

“Conor! No!” Things were going to get bad, I could tell. “I’LL KILL YOU!” Conor was shouting at Alex and I ran towards them, Alex was on the floor covering his face as Conor kept on hitting him repeatedly. I grabbed Conor’s arm but he swung back and hit me in the face. I fell to the floor but I wasn’t giving up. “CONOR STOP!” I got back onto my feet and stood in front of Alex blocking Conor’s view of him. His eyes widened and he backed off immediately. His hands flew to his face as if to hide his view from me. “What?” I was so confused right now. “(Y/N)…I am so sorry, it was an accident…” “Conor what are you talking about?” I hadn’t noticed the throbbing pain from my left eye where Conor had hit me and before I knew it red liquid started to fall from my face. My hand flew to my eye and I covered it, putting pressure on it to stop the bleeding. Alex got off the floor and his face was worse than mine so I went straight over to him. “CONOR GET OUT NOW!” Conor quickly ran out of the house and I was glad he left without any trouble. “Shit…Alex are you okay?” It was a bit of a stupid question as I could tell by his face that he was defiantly not okay. “I’ll be fine.” I took Alex upstairs to my bathroom and got the first aid kit out and tried to clean his face up a bit. He winced a lot but I finally finished, it was just bruised a lot. “I am so sorry about him.” I looked to the floor but Alex’s hand lifted my chin up. “It’s not your fault.” I hugged him tight and then he leant in to kiss me but I turned my head, avoiding this kiss. A large part of me inside was regretting last night. I did it mainly out of anger and plus the fact I was ridiculously drunk. “Look Alex last night was a…” he cut me off “A mistake?” I nodded my head and he looked hurt. “I was drunk and angry and I wanted to get back at Conor…I am so sorry…” Alex quickly walked out of my bathroom and I felt so bad. “Alex! Wait!” I ran after him but the front door slammed shut. I was too late. I felt like I have messed everything up with everyone.

I decided to miss college today, I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone so I just lay in bed all day, thinking about how bad my life was getting, it seemed like I was losing everything. I didn’t eat all day; I just lay there feeling sorry for myself. My mum came home and tried to make me eat dinner but I refused it.

A month had gone by since Conor cheated on me. I sat on my own every day at college. And I still wasn’t eating properly…I just didn’t want to eat and every time I ate a lot I was just sick again after wards so I saw no point. I was constantly tired as I hardly slept now and I hardly went out any more. My mum was worried about me but I didn’t seem to care. It was Friday and I was just sitting on my sofa taking no notice of a film I had put on when there was a knock at my door. I slowly got up and opened it and I was surprised to see who was standing there. “George?” he looked worried as he took me all in. “(Y/N)…can I come in?” I let him in and I just stood there, waiting for him to speak. “What do you want George?” his eyes met mine and he looked like he was going to cry. “This isn’t normal (Y/N)…” he gestured to my body. “Excuse me?” “Look how thin you are,” he came closer to me and lifted my arm up gently as if he was trying not to hurt me. “You’re so thin!” I just closed my eyes but his hands clamped on my shoulders and he shook me. “Look at yourself! This isn’t right!” I knew he was right but I didn’t want to admit it. “I’m fine George!” he rolled his eyes at me. “(Y/N), I think we both know that’s a lie, you’re ill (Y/N)! You need some help!” George was seriously worried about me and it made me realise how bad I had actually gotten. I scanned my eyes over my body and I saw how much weight I had lost since a month ago. “You know I’m right! Why did you do this to yourself!?” A tear ran down my face and George saw, he pulled me in and hugged me gently due to how fragile I looked. “Don’t worry (Y/N), I am going to help you okay, you’ll be the same in no time!” I just nodded my head into his chest.

I was sent away to a hospital and they told me they were going to help me get back to the way I was before. I was told I had an emotional disorder that caused me to lose weight and not eat, it was called ‘anorexia’ I had heard of it before but I just hadn’t thought that that was what was wrong with me. It’s now been the 6th day I was in hospital for, I was getting better but was still very weak and underweight. A young lady came and told me I had a visitor. I didn’t know who it could be but when I saw who it was I wish they had never turned up. It was Conor. His face was distraught as he saw me lying on my hospital bed. “(Y/N)…” “You speechless are you? Is it that fact that I look hideous or the fact that you’re the reason why I’m here?” He opened his mouth but nothing came out. “You thought you were all ‘famous’ did you? Thought you were better than me? Well let me tell you something Conor Maynard, I will always be better than you no matter how famous you get I will always be the better person.” “(Y/N), I am so sorry…” I scoffed at his words. “Sorry?! You think sorry can fix all this? No. You cheated on me, you hit me and you beat up one of my best friends…well at least he used to be.” “Hey you know I didn’t mean to hit you!” “Oh do i? You’ve hurt me before remember?” My words hurt him but I didn’t care, he deserved it. “I didn’t come here for you to hate me more (Y/N), I came here to try sort things out between us.” I scoffed at his words again. “Let me guess, you thought you would come here, say you were sorry and think I’d be falling at your feet again? P-lease Conor, just go.”  “I’m not going until you forgive me.” “Well you’re going to be here for a while then.” I rolled over so I wasn’t facing him and I shut my eyes and tried to fall asleep. I was successful.

When I awoke I lay there for a while just staring at the wall but I got uncomfortable and rolled on to the other side. “Shit Conor! Why are you still here?!” He had been here all this time. “I told you I wasn’t leaving until you forgave me.” “Look, Conor, I don’t know what you want me to say! ‘Oh I forgive you for everything!’ because I just can’t! You need to just accept that!”  “What I did at the club was a mistake! I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing! I love you so much (Y/N) and I can’t live without you! You mean everything to me and I was so stupid to ever hurt you and I am so sorry, please find it in your heart to forgive me!” I didn’t know what to say. He walked over to my bed and stroked my cheek with his hands. I closed my eyes and just laid there. I was surprised when his lips were pressed onto mine but I didn’t resist. I couldn’t resist. I just couldn’t deny that no matter how much this boy hurts me, I am always going to want him and I hated myself but I would hate myself even more if I never forgave Conor again. I tear ran down my cheek and he brushed it off. “Don’t cry.” He kissed me again and then rested his forehead on mine. “I promise I will never do anything like that again. I love you (Y/N).” There was a long silence but eventually I managed to say, “I love you too…”