I sit there in awe for minutes on end. They drug on forever until Joshua broke the silence clearing his throat "obviously this is the source of all your strength and your advanced thought process your able to use 94% of your brain unlike a pure breed human who uses 10%. The species of alien we fused your genes with was a cryptarc, we chose this species biased on their special abilities they present. But pure breeds pose the threat of unpredictability we can't count on them to do the right thing for this race so, we made you."
My jaw hangs open as I begin to shake and I feel my eyes being to tear up. I speak slowly to keep myself from choking up
"so you mean to tell me I'm just some lab rat? Made from a test tube?"
Joshua shakes his head
"no Thomas absolutely not your still human just not fully, yes it's true you weren't born like the rest of us but that dose not make you any less then we are."
I don't believe him. I look around that the people at the table in their eyes I see pity they look down on me. I look at Joshua
"Sam said we were weapons, is that what I am? Just a weapon?"
A man speaks up with slicked back shiny grey hair
"essentially yes, you were designed to have the ability to transform at will much like the cryptarcs and devastate the battle field. You are our ace in the hole."
I sit there scolding him not with anger but sadness. All this time I thought I was just like them but no I'm just a monster made in a lab. The tears fall out of the trap that are my eyes and I look at Joshua
"transform?"
I ask softly having lost all bravado in my voice.
"The cryptarcs are a very emotionally driven race. Having so much brain power to their advantage it may be hard to believe but they thrive on emotion, much like humans their emotions effect their decisions. The more powerful emotions however can cause transformations in some cases."
I wipe my eyes
"so you think I'm capable of these *transformations*?"
Joshua nods and says
"yes Thomas we do that's why we let you hurt the others we thought that would trigger the first transformation." My anger replaced my sadness
"so you are telling me you let me hurt everyone just to see if I would transform or not!"
The grey haired man speaks up again "precisely, we have devoted a lot of time and money into you we wanted to know if all our efforts were for nothing. And it seems they were."
I loose it that last sentence pushed me over the edge and before I know I'm on my feet my chair flying away from me. The mans tie is griped in my tight fist "LISTEN HERE YOU INSUFFERABLE LITTLE CUNT I WAS JUST TOLD IM NOT EVEN HUMAN THAT IM JUST SOME EXPERIMENT THAT WAS MADE FOR WAR AND NOW IM NOT EVEN USEFUL IM JUST A WASTE OF TIME AND SPACE! SO ILL ASK YOU TO HAVE A LITTLE SYMPATHY FOR THE ORGANISM YOU FUCKING CREATED!"
Then I quickly jerk down on the mans tie and his head slams into the table cracking it more. Joshua yells "THOMAS CALM DOWN AND PLEASE STOP BREAKING MY TABLE!"
The grey haired man chokes out the words
"your worried about the table? What about me!"
Joshua scoffs and says
"sir you were the one who pissed him off you shouldn't have done that."
I collect my chair and sit back down at the table and breath in deeply to calm myself down. Two large men in clean white shirts and pants carry the grey haired man away on a stretcher, a thin line of blood trickling down the side of his head. Joshua sighs
"Thomas I know it may be hard to comprehend but-"
I cut him off
"I get it Joshua I just really don't like it."
Joshua nods and looks at me
"I understand Thomas that's perfectly ok. We understand this is hard but we all agreed that you needed to know."
I nod my sadness returning even worse and I look down no longer crying. I look up at the people around the now broken table,
"may I leave now?"
I ask quietly Jennifer looks at Joshua and nods and Joshua stands up
"would you like to see Samantha first? She gets released from the medical ward tomorrow."
I nod and stand up still picking wood chips out of my hand. We walk out of the room and Joshua asks me
"do you think you can make it to the medical ward and back to your room by yourself?"
I scoff still looking down
"of course I can but do you really trust me that much?"
I hear him laugh lightly
"to be completely honest Thomas yes I truthfully trust you a lot I think you could help the world in a lot of ways and that you deserve to be treated just as well as the rest of us."
I nod
"yea I can make it back there by myself, will there be training tomorrow?" Joshua shrugs
"I'll leave you a message if anything comes up tomorrow."
I nod
"thanks Joshua."
I say as I start on my way to the medical ward. Once I get to the door I push it open and walk using memory to guide myself to her room, I stand at her door and knock on it lightly and I hear her voice
"yeah come in."
A simple sentence even in my depression filled state I feel a pang in my heart and my veins fill with ice as I walk in as a smile forms on my face at the sight of her bright red hair and bubbly happy face. She smiles at me as says
"hey cowboy."
I smile back and say hello as I sit back down in the same chair as the day before she looks at me and asks me "what's wrong cowboy?"
As if she can see right through me I look down the smile slowly fading from my face
"well Sam...Joshua just told me I'm not human."
She's silent for a few seconds
"ok..then what are you?"
I move around in my chair to keep myself from shaking
"a hybrid of human and alien dna some species called the cryptarcs."
She looks at me and grabs my hand "Thomas your still human your still you. Your just like I am."
I shake my head and a tear falls out of my eye onto the floor. I feel Sam grab my face and she pulls me close to her. She looks in my eyes as she presses her soft lips against mine and kisses me. I feel my heart explode and the ice in my veins melts into a warm feeling of safety that creeps it's way to my heart like white fire bringing with it strange forgiveness. We stay there for what seems like forever locked in an tight embrace lips pressed against each other's, she pulls away and smiles at me
"Thomas your the most human one here, Jason and Robert didn't freak out when they got thrown in here like you and I did. Your the only one I've seen myself in, your afraid just as much as I am not about being here but what you'll do when you get out. Because you know as well as I do there's a whole world out there that we are both hopelessly unprepared for and they expect to just throw us into war."
I look at her surprise at the words she speaks because she's right every word of it I think somehow she sees what I'm thinking again and continues to talk "yes Thomas I've been thinking like you for three years. I don't like it here but I don't have a choice. And when we get put on that battle field all well know is war and fighting"
she pauses and looks down
"well never be able to live a normal life like every one else."
I hug her tightly once again and whisper in her ear
"it may not be normal to everyone else but it will be normal to us."
I say and look at the clock above her bed
"I better go before I gets to late"
she frowns and pulls me into another kiss
"I'll see you in training cowboy, try not to break me again."
She says with a wink I chuckle lightly and walk out. I'm about half of the way back to the door when I see a shiny metallic tool on a table and pick it up I can see the sharp edge of the blade in my hand. I'll never be able to determine that possessed me to do it but I placed the blast to my four arm and pressed down, the blade cut almost immediately and as backwards as it sounds the pain in my chest and the pit in my stomach disappeared and I felt nothing anymore and I said to myself "nothing hurts.."
I pull the blade away and watch the wound heal almost as soon as I pulled the tool away. I tucked the object in my pocket and walked back to my room and closed the door. I hear it lock behind me meaning someone is in the observation room. I look around the room and my eyes land on the sensory deprivation chamber Jennifer showed me the other day and I open the small door. The smell of salt water assaults my nose as I step into the chamber fully clothed and shut the door. Seemingly for hours I float weightlessly staring into nothing. Every time I feel the pain beginning to grown in my body again I reach my arm over and use the blade one myself again and again until at some point I finally fall asleep in that void. I wake up on the couch in my room and look around and feel my pocket and the blade was missing I shrug my shoulders and look at my arm, scars Ritter the Length of my arm deep and red against my pale arm I shake my head and look at my tv to find a note tapes to it.
*Thomas , there is no training today but a little bit more discussion that you need to hear so in a few hours Jen will be there to collect you. And P.S. Please don't take another scalpel, it's not worth it.*
I crumple up the paper and throw it behind me as I stand up and turn on the tv and listen to Spanish soap operas for a few hours. I hear my door open and the familiar sound of high heels clicking towards me
"Thomas, we're ready for you."
I roll off the couch and stretch before walking with her down the same damp hallway.
"Your quite today Jennifer."
I say with my hands in my pocket. She mutters something under her breath that I can't make out but I think she said something about being sorry, I shake this of as we approach a door I've never seen before and she steps to the side and presses a button. As the door slides open she looks away from me and says
"step in here please Thomas."
There's a certain scratch to her voice that almost sounds like someone about to cry I look at her and give her shoulder a squeeze and she throws herself in my arms hugging me. I hug back and she grabs my arm
"WHY!"
I pull my arm away and look away
"it made the pain stop."
I say as I walk through the door and away from her. I find myself in a room with nothing but a chair so I sit down in it and wait. I hear a click and my arms are restrained by metal loops as well as my feet. I start flailing around trying to get free but the sound of a microphone turning on keeps me still. I hear the old man with grey hairs voice
"time to see Just how useful you truly are."
I scream at him
"what's going on here!"
A blinding light flares to life in the room In Front of me and I see her standing there confused then she smiles at me when she sees me. Her smile quickly fades as she sees me tied down and then at the sound of the wall behind her opening. She runs away from the giant it's metal claws snapping at her heals over and over trying to attack her the giant metal beast chases after her. I scream her name and pull on my restraints over and over trying to get free but to no avail. Over and over I yell I scream and I pull. I watch her running and she reaches the glass that separates us just in time for me to watch helplessly as the machine grabs her head through its claws I see one Of her eyes, I can see her tears and hear her call my name as with on quick twist the beast snaps her neck and everything is silent.
