straythoughts

Fatal Anxiety.

Can't you see me.
Can't you hear me.
Can't you feel me.
Something pains inside my chest.
I feel hot all of a sudden.
I feel cold the next.
My feet goes numb.
My brain seems to stop.
My chest aches.
My lungs can't take in air.
I can't breathe.
It takes too much effort.
I feel tired.
Worn out.
Exhausted.
Can't stand anymore.
I lose consciousness.
I wake up from my bed.
Old memories haunt me.
Old promises stab me.
Old emotions overwhelm me.
I cry.
I cry.
I cry.
Howling in this pain.
Screaming your name.
My throat feels sore.
My eyes feels swollen.
My face seems sunken.
Dreams overtaking me again.
Dreams becoming nightmares.
Dreams close to reality.
I wake up.
Look around me .
Darkness yet again.
Just this time ,
I don't feel the tears build.
I don't feel the pain.
I don't feel anything.
Emptiness.
Hollowness.
Voidness.
Nothing.
Its dark.
The weather seems cold.
The chill bites at my skin.
But I feel numb.
I don't have the energy to get up.
I don't have the Will to leave the bed.
I feel drained.
Drops of water falling on the bathroom tile in a rhythm.
Didn't even realize when my feet took me there.
I stood before the mirror.
Staring.
Blank.
Pale.
Dirty.
Eyes sunken inside my skull.
My hair all over like a messy broom.
I look at myself.
Oh what a sorry sight.
I wiped the trail of tears from my cheek.
Dip.
Dip.
Dip.
Water falling in drops.
My world fallen.
The water never stops.
But my world has.
Alone.
Shattered.
Deprived.
The edge of the blade
Shining.
Sparkling.
Glazing.
Tempting.
My skin
Smooth.
Dry.
Pale
Inviting.
The pain leaves my body.
Silent.
Release.
Dripping onto the floor.
I see colour.
I see flow.
I see life.
I see
I see.
I see.
Until No more.