Life After You

Preface

"Goodbye is forever. See ya us temporary." Teddy whisperers, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"That was her favorite saying.." I whisper back, and sigh, trying to wipe away my own tears. 'She's gone. She really did it.'

See ya.

The couch between us starts to vibrate. I look down to see Callie's name across the screen. "How do we tell her?"

"I have no idea."

I sigh and answer the phone, "Hey Callie."

"Hey, what's wrong?! Is is Arizona!? Is she hurt? Or sick? What's wrong Maura!?"

I try to tell her but I can't get the words to leave my mouth. My eyes are locked with Teddy's begging her to help. She takes the phone from my hands a presses the speakerphone button.

"MAURA! WHAT IS WRONG!? I'M FREAKING OUT HERE!!! PLEASE TELL ME THAT THERE'S NOT NEED TO BE FREAKING OUT!"

"Callie, I don't know how to say this compassionately, so I'm just going to say it," Teddy chokes. "Arizona killed her self." The sentence is rushed, almost beyond comprehension, and the line is silent, and I wonder if she even understood what was said, "Callie?"

"I.. I.. Wha.. What?" She is in full blown sobs. "Why?"

My anger starts to boil, and before I know it the anger takes over my actions and I'm yelling at the phone, "FUCKING REALLY!? HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU EVEN ASK THAT QUESTION!? YOU!!! YOU ARE THE FUCKING REASON!! YOU AND THAT STUPID BITCH YOU'RE 'IN LOVE WITH'! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CALLIE!! I KNEW YOU LACKED COMMON SENSE, BUT I NEVER REALIZED YOU WERE THIS FUCKING STUPID! AN--"

I'm cut off by Teddy taking the phone off speaker and saying, "Callie she's really upset right now.  So we're gonna go. I'm sorry."

"WHAT THE FUCK TEDDY!?"

"Mars, I know that you're upset, we both are, but blaming Callie isn't going to make anything better." She places her hand on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me down, but it only fuels my anger. I don't want to be touched, I don't want to see anyone, I don't want my best friend to be dead. I shove her hand off my shoulder, and storm to my room, 'I can't deal with this right now.'

Safely behind the closed door i fall to my knees in vicious sobs. "Why Zona!? Why did you think this was the only way?" I yell at the ceiling, I'm not very religious, but right now, it seems like the perfect place to focus my anger.

__Teddy's POV__

"Mars, I know that you're upset, we both are but blaming Callie isn't going to make anything better." I don't know what to do, so I try to comfort the screaming strawberry blonde sitting with me. But no sooner does my hand touch her shoulder, then it is thrown off and she is almost sprinting to her room. I can still hear her sobs and screaming through her door, and as much as I want to comfort her, I know it's better to let her work it out on her own. 'She'll come to me if she needs me.'

I get up from the couch and walk over to the sliding glass door and out onto the balcony. Looking out at the city in front of me, I see the sun peaking through the buildings. Its still chilly for May, and I wish I had on more than shorts and a tank top, but I don't want to go back inside, so I sit in one of the three wicker chairs.  Watching the sun rise use to be so calming, but right now I'm still trying to process what happened, and calm is not something I can accomplish.

Tears are still rolling down my cheeks when Maura comes outside. "I can't beleive it." she sighs sinking into a char on the other side of the balcony.

All I can do is shake my head.

"It's almost 8, do you want breakfast?"

I shake my head again. She sighs, "I don't either."

I exhale a choked almost laugh, as Maura gets out of the chair and moves to sit in the one next to me, pulling her knees to her chest, her chin resting on top of them. I scoot closer to her, leaning across the armrests that separate us, and lay my head on her shoulder, closing my eyes and just absorbing the feeling of her presence.

"So, I um.. I'm sorry about earlier, the whole hand thing." She apologizes, tilting her head to rest on mine.

"And the Callie thing?" I question.

A long audible sigh escapes her mouth, "Yes. But I wasn't completely wrong, and you know it."

She has me there, "I do hold her as an accessory, but Zos was sick. It was only a matter of time until something happened, and Callie just happened to be the person it happened with. She had an illness, you can't blame Callie for that."

Silence ensues.

"Mars?"

"Yeah, I know you're right, but that doesn't mean that I want to admit it."

"I know hun, I know."

We spend most of the day on the balcony, and watch the sun set from the same place I watched it rise. "I think I'm gonna to go to bed." I tell Maura, who's falling asleep in the chair across the balcony.

"Huh, oh yeah me too."

When we both get inside, I lock all the doors and head to my room. I tell Mars goodnight as she slips into her room. Once her door is shut I stand in my doorway, staring across the hall at Arizona's room, and whisper, "goodnight Zos" before backing into my room and closing the door.