Black Tie Event

Chapter Twelve

A/N: Hey guys! Have I even made one of these yet? Okay, seems like a good time. Um, the comments on the last chapter made me cry, because some of you guys said that you cried, and that made me cry thinking of you crying. It was just generally a lot of tears going on. I love you all sosososososo much. Les mando mucho amor a todos mis lectores! (: Aw, and super special birthday dedication to @KelsieSmith03!!! Happy birthday lovely! <3 I think I should start dedicating chapters more often. It feels benevolent and shit.

Xoxoxoxo,
Railene :)

I woke up in a worse mood than I'd gone to bed in. My conversation with Grace the previous night had gotten to me more than I would have cared to admit. I prided myself on not caring what people thought. As a woman on the police force and a lesbian trying to assimilate into American culture, I knew what adversity was, and had spent my life trying to prove that other peoples' prejudices just didn't matter. I'd always had a strong sense of self, and never had a reason not to. And it only fueled my fire, what Grace said at first - the idea that I couldn't be fixed. I liked that I was past the point of mending. Didn't that mean I was strong?

And yet, something else, something deeper, had bothered me. I was now so confused about where I stood with Grace. When I'd left, I'd been okay with being someone to simply have sex with, but now that we'd discussed it, I wondered if I was selling her short. I'd done whatever I wanted with Grace and assumed she'd do whatever she wanted with me; but now I found myself feeling bad. Because I knew she wasn't getting what she wanted. And I didn't know how I felt about that, really. Certainly it wasn't my job to give her her happy ending. That was something she had to create for herself. But was I doing the wrong thing? Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. But it was all something I had to figure out, and the place to figure it out was not holed up in Collin Shaw's guest room a million miles away from where I should have been.

I threw my bag down on the ground as soon as I walked through the bedroom door, producing a loud thud that made even Allison blink.

"Good morning, sunshine," she muttered, shooting me a look.

"Shut up," I exhaled, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "Not in the mood."

She rolled her eyes and inhaled. "Okay, I'll be brave. What's the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter," I said tersely.

"Okay. Fine." She stood up and turned to tend to something in her closet.

"It's just, why am I even here, you know? I don't know what I'm doing, I feel like I'm getting nothing done at all, and I don't understand why--"

"I thought nothing was the matter."

I crossed my arms. "Can you just like, not be a total bitch for five seconds?"

"You know what, Kim? Keep talking. I'm in a great mood. You can't bring me down."

I scoffed. "You in a great mood? Did you ever return those drugs you seized, Beckett?"

She cocked her head. "Funny."

"Okay," I relented. "I'll be brave. Why are you in a great mood?"

She smiled knowingly, then lifted her chin, playing the coy act. "I may have had a great date last night."

That just made me laugh out loud. "You went on a date?"

"Excuse me? Why is that such a surprise?"

"I don't know," I said, not able to keep myself from laughing lightly. "You're just so...bitter."

She clicked her tongue in disgust and outrage. "If I'm bitter, then what are you?"

I shrugged. "Endearing, charismatic, and strikingly clever I guess."