Black Tie Event

Chapter Eighteen

"Kim, will you say something?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Start by explaining why you just almost drove into that mailbox."

"Do you think you're funny?"

Allison slumped back into her seat. I knew it bothered her that I was driving the car, but she knew she'd crossed the line with me earlier and she wasn't about to fall back into the role of the controlling partner. In a lot of ways, Allison and I were in a committed relationship, minus whatever the good stuff is. She told me what to do, bossed me around and called the shots, we argued, I resented more than half of the things she did and the words she said, but no matter what, I was bound to her.

"Kind of, yes," she muttered tersely.

I just rolled my eyes and kept driving recklessly towards the nearest precinct. 

"Turn left at the lights."

"Can you fuck off? I know where I'm going."

"You didn't have your signal on."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Sorry," she sighed, and I could tell she wished she hadn't said anything. I slapped the lever down angrily with my left hand, satiating her by signaling a turn yards earlier than I'd needed to.

"For what?"

"For telling you to turn," she said slowly, making a face.

"Oh."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well I don't know. You have an assorted array of things to be apologizing for, I was just wondering which offense was outrageously heinous enough to knock some humility into you for all of three seconds." I scoffed, then muttered. "Apparently, it's a blinker."

"Will you shut up? For God's sake, Kim, will you just shut the fuck up?"

"You know what? I would love to."

We passed a couple of minutes in heavy, stiff silence. Without Allison's shrill voice demanding things of me at all times, I could at least hear myself think, which was more than I could say on a regular basis. But the air that was transpiring between us was still thick with tension that wouldn't really break until one of us addressed at least one of its several causes. Allison must have picked up on that, because she spoke a few minutes later.

"I shouldn't have said what I said earlier," she finally said quietly. "That wasn't right."

I exhaled, turning a corner without my signal, just because I was a thirty two year old woman capable of making my own choices. "You're right," I said coldly. "It wasn't."

"You're not making this easy, Kim. I'm trying to apologize."

"I'm waiting."

"The truth is," she said as if every word was killing her. Slowly, painfully, grudgingly. "I don't know how I'd react if I were ever in your situation. Homicide is a tough unit and I don't blame you for requesting a transfer. The fact that you're still with the PD is a testament to your tenacity as a detective. And...I think you're really brave. And I admire that about you."

I looked out on the road, blinking a few times as a smile spread across my face. "Apparently that left turn took me into the Twilight Zone."

"You are so fucking smug," she began.

"Hey, don't ruin the apology. It was a good one."

"Yeah, I worked really hard on it, actually."