When we reached the house, it was awfully quiet, which is unusual for this lot. I knew that something was definitely out of the ordinary. As we approached the dark screen porch, Pete stated that the lights were not on in any part of the house, which I also wondered how he could tell me that information considering we could only see into the kitchen and living room from our position. I was the first to walk up the creaky old steps and slowly pushed open the screen door to reveal no sign of life, as it was when we left.
This didn't bother Pete at the least, but it made me feel very uneasy. I walked over to the small round table and saw that there had been a smoke session going on at some point today. Two half finished joints lay about in the small red glass ashtray. Pete reached for one of those spliffs over my shoulder and kissed my neck as he did so, making me at ease with the world.
As he lit up, I walked to the front door and turned the knob slowly, not knowing what I could walk into. Suddenly the door became extremely light, and it swung open with Ray lumbering over the doorway, and his face did not look happy. Great, this is what I have to deal with for however long he's going to be an arsehole about everything that's happened.
"Well, well, well-" he started.
"Don't even, Ray. Just shut the fuck up," I said without looking at him for a reaction, "please." and I sighed.
Not another sound was heard from Ray's mouth and he pushed me out of his way, going over to Pete, who was innocently sitting down just sucking the life out of the rolled marijuana he found. Ray yanked the joint out of Pete's mouth and stamped it in the ashtray, then roughly grabbed Pete by the jaw with one hand, his fingers clutching Pete's skin with anger.
Ray stared at the man he was threatening with fury, "If you fuckin' ever-"
"LAY OFF 'IM!!" I yelled, taking a few big steps and tried to seize my brother's grip and he released his hand, which became fist that violently drew closer to my face, then BAM. I fell backwards on my arse grasping my left eye that stung and burned with tears escaping down my cheeks. I shrieked and tried to get back on my feet, but stumbled onto my knees, cursing the entire way. I just fell backwards and crawled till I hit a wall, then stayed there.
I saw out of my other eye someone walked into the house, which I'm guessing would've been Ray. I felt a hand on my shoulder, then arms around me, but I didn't take my hands away from my left eye. I sat in the corner of the screen porch, crying in the arms of my only love who was just threatened by my brother, whom I've received a black eye from.
I was at a loss. I cannot believe I have to spend lord knows how long living like this; I'm fearing for my relationship with my brother and my status among everyone I live with. I cannot be who I want and have it be the right thing in anyone's eyes but my own.
I don't know how, but I ended up in my bed, contemplating the decision I have made by falling in love. What if Ray's right and I am just messed up in the head for thinking I could be in love with a man, especially Pete. Maybe I was just lost and disoriented, looking for attention.
No, I shouldn't be questioning myself in that way and I know in my heart that I'm not wrong, because Ray's just trying to break me. I do know that true love is stronger than everything and the moment Pete and I met and looked into each other's eyes, I could feel something much deeper in my soul that awakened me.
I've never in my life had these strong of feelings for any person I've ever came in contact with, and I hope to never lose it.
I lied on my back in the soft sheets and stopped thinking. I let my ears explore the various noises about the room from left to right. Directly next to me, I heard the delicate snoring coming from Peter Quaife half covered with a throw blanket and further from him was the sound of an open window, due to the loudness of the crickets chirping and frogs peeping.
I love summer because of that reason. I love the nature and the life that summer brings with it; everything's green and alive, so many things just stir in the summer because of its power. I lie there thinking about how dead and silent, maybe even grim the winter really is.
Snapping back to reality, I sat up as slow and quiet as I could, trying very hard not to wake my love, I didn't want him to pity me just because he was asleep and I wasn't, which obviously meant something was bothering me. There are so many things that bother me, but I don't want to burden his mind with my problems, he doesn't need that. I carefully slid to the edge of the bed and ever-so gently left the surface of the bed and managed to get on my feet with no struggle.
I tiptoed across the room, trying not to step on the places in the floor that creaked and arrived at the burgundy desk with a whole bunch of paraphernalia for weed. I picked up a particular glass piece that I had gotten for my birthday from Pete. I smiled at the memory, then sat by the open window and looked down upon some lawn with trees lining every which way.
I began lighting up and as soon as the flame reached its destination, I feel a sudden warmth behind me, along with a breath or two down my bare neck.
"You wanna talk?" he said softly, resting his head on my shoulder.
"Not really," I answered. It's true, I really don't feel like sharing anything because it's already gone bad enough and how could it possibly get worse. I shouldn't say that because now it will be. I felt his head nod so slightly and he stretched his arm over me, taking the pipe out of my hand. He actually understood that I really didn't want to talk and he respected it, one of the hundreds of reasons why I love him.
