at least and its contradiction

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What's worse than feeling every pain
the world has to offer,
is not feeling at all.
At least when you're breaking,
you once knew you were whole.
At least when you're grieving,
you once knew you had someone alive.
At least when you're crying,
you once knew you were laughing.

Because.
Because when you feel nothing at all,
you'll question yourself
if you're even human.
And even though being human
is the worst you can be,
at least you're not a sun
that leaves you at night.
At least you're not a moon or a star
that brings broken promises.
At least you're not a plant
that withers in the end.
At least you're not an ocean
that drowns you to death.
At least you're not fire
that burns everything down.
At least you're not earth
that buries you 6 feet below the ground.

At least.

But
you're a sun that runs away when needed.
You're a moon and a star that can't keep promises.
You're a plant that gets sick and die.
You're an ocean that gives too much but not enough.
You're a fire that consumes everything to ashes.
You are earth that runs away from life for death.

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