Deepest Secrets- One Direction FanFiction

Chapter 6

Tell me what you think and what will happen next, and if I should continue or not! Share it with your friends or random strangers on the internet!

Vote,Comment,Etc.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, May 13, 2011

Dear Diary, It seems no matter what I do or what I say, it's not going to be good enough. People seem to know something's up...they know something...but yet, they won't tell me what. As for Jai and me, we've been spending less and less time together, he says it's what couples do before their wedding, but for me, it's so I have time to think. I mean, am I even doing the right thing here? By marrying him? Honestly I'm so lost; I don't even know what to think!

Putting those selfish thoughts aside, I've seen my father having a lot of trouble with his sides, he says it's nothing, but I can't help but believe that he's lying.

Harry scrunched up his nose in confusion.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Dear Diary, I decided to take dad to the doctors today, the doctor told me that he wanted to keep him there over night, so I stayed there to comfort paps. He keeps telling me nothing's wrong, even though I can clearly see it deep in his iris'. He even tried to convince me to go home, and not come back, even when he was let out. That right there told me something was wrong, almost immediately. For one thing, whatever was wrong with him, he didn't want me to know...

Friday, May 27, 2011

Dear Diary, I just got word from the doctor. The pain dad's been having for a while turns out to be a case of stage three pancreatic cancer. I've prayed over and over again that they might be able to save him.

He turned the page, frightened as to what was to happen next.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Dear Diary, the doctors say that there's nothing they can do. The cancer has spread too much. I've tried imagining life without a father, and it's impossible. I'm still waiting for one of those miracles that defy science-one that will allow him to heal, but day by day, I'm losing more and more of my faith.

The pages seemed crinkled from where her tears had dropped while writing. He ran his fingers across each watermark, remembering the many times she had cried, the many times he had felt her warm tears against his skin. He missed those times; he wished to feel them again, if only for a minute-to hold her in his warm embrace, to caress her fragile face, and just to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay, even if it wasn't true.

He felt himself lose it in that very moment, feeling helpless and unsure. His tears began designing patterns on his cheeks, staining them from each one. He had a hard time breathing through all of it, he would have a sniffle here and there, and would occasionally close his eyes to picture her, and what she would have looked like within that moment.

"Son, you're going to have to leave." Todd, the manager, told him as he wiped off each table with a rugged ole' cloth. He nodded as his response, making his way out the front door and into the cool of night.

Barely anyone was out at this time of night, the streets empty and bare, it was so unlike Manchester to be silenced. The only noise that was to be heard was the noise of the drunken men in the pub just down the street. Sitting down on a bench just outside the pub, he remembered all the good times he had with her; they were always so perfect, even if they just sat together. They enjoyed each other's company. But now that it's over...he was left with nothing.

Staring up into the star filled sky; he couldn't help but wonder, if she was up there too.

Deciphering whether or not to go home or stay, he decided he needed rest, he deserved it.

By this time the boys were dead asleep, the world was. Except Harry. As he plummeted down on the lumpy sofa, curling up and finding some peace from his spiraling thoughts.

...

Each morning it began again, Harry had a routine down. He'd get up, and read her diary in silence. The boys never knew about the diary, they didn't see the specialty that Harry saw towards the tiny book with the silver dragon lock on it. They didn't understand, and they probably never would, nor did they care too.

"Harry, Simon called us in, so we're going to the studio, if at all today you want to join us." Harry nodded, as the boys left without another word.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Dear Diary, I now know why everyone was so quiet towards me...they all knew, and they didn't even think about telling me! Those jackass'. It's just...he's my father, and I love him dearly. But no one told me, they all knew, and they didn't tell me. They knew he had pancreatic cancer and that he's going to die, but...not me. They just forget one simple thing...to tell me.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Dear Diary, Harry is so sweet! I don't know why but I feel a connection towards him, and it's starting to really scare me. I'm getting married for goodness sakes! But it just doesn't seem right...Jai and me. Maybe I'm crazy about marrying him...maybe.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Dear Diary, I've decided to talk to Jai about all of this. He said it's just the jitters of marriage, but honestly? I don't think it is. I don't know how to tell him, so I decided to tell him to push the wedding back, for my dad. He accepted that.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Dear Diary, I'm so lost, I have no clue what to do anymore. My father's slowly dying, and Jai is eager to get married, but here I am, having doubts about everything, and I'm being so selfish, keeping this feeling locked inside. But...Harry has a huge spot in my heart all of a sudden. We've been spending so much time together...and every time I'm with him, I automatically forget about...everything. He makes me feel whole inside, is it wrong to say that?