Every little, broken piece (ON HOLD)

Chapter 6 - Unedited

I stared into those beautiful brown eyes, which belonged to an even more beautiful creature.

"What? Is there something on my face?" His husky voice called out to me.

At first I was confused. Why would there be something on his face? But then I reliesed that I stared which probably creeped him out and I quickly adverted my gaze from his face.

"There's nothing." I said in a small voice.

"Well aparently there is something or you wouldn't be staring." He grew a little smirk which was both adorable and confusing at the same time.

I still don't understand why he hadn't rejected me yet. With every passing second it gets worse and worse for me to stay away from him.

I want him to hold me and tell me he will be there for me and that I'm his aswell as he is mine. But I know for a fact that even if he felt that way, I would destroy everything with me being myself.

I don't do love. I simply can't imagine myself being happy and at piece with my mind. Everytime I felt a little bit of happyness in my life, it would painfully be taken away from me. Jacob made sure of that. And since there weren't many happy memories in my early childhood I separeted myself from that feeling. Whenever I would fell a little bit of happyness bubble up within myself, I would find a way to supress it.

I fought back the lump forming in my throat and looked again at my perfect mate.

"Like I said: There is not a single thing wrong." I told him coldly while looking away and with all the respect I could muster. There's no need to tick off an alpha.

"Why are you like this?" As he spoke I looked him in the face again which was definately a bad idea. He looked hurt and sad which in return hurt me and made me feel guilty.

I hurt him and that hurt me. Is that how it's supposed to be? The mate bond? I kinda like that I could cause those emotions because that meant that he cared about me and my behaviour. But I also dread this feeling of being the one who's able to hurt him. I don't want that. I want to see him happy and free of any sorrows.

I decided to try to cut off our bond befor it is too late to do so.

"Trust me it's better this way. I'm going to cause trouble and you don't want to deal with that. Please take in my brother into your pack and stay away from me. I need to get going."

A low growl echoed troughout the room which took me off guard seeing as I was about to ramble on about leaving.

"What the hell are you talking about? You're not going anywhere! Tell me, how would it be better when you leave me? I searched too long for you to just leave me like this. I don't care about what happened or what's going to happen to me or my pack. I give you all the time you need to adjust to this situation, really I will do that! But you need to stay with me. Now that I finally found you, you're not going to leave me behind. I can tell you as much." It was like he was begging me to stay. He was sincere. I can see that. But I know it won't do good if I really decide to be by his side.

"I can't do that. You don't know a single thing about my past and the reason why my brother and I left our old pack. It puts everyone in danger if I stay. My brother is not as much of a target as I am."

"Well I don't care, kitten." He told me, looking torn between trusting my words and trusting his instincts.

I know that he wants to keep his pack safe. But I can tell that he wants to protect me as well. And apperently the side that wanted to protect me won, due to his words.