The Book Of The Courtier's Lady

My name was Signora Emilia and I was fortunate in that I spent a good deal of my youth in the court of Duke Guidobaldo of Urbino. I was surrounded by those who openly declared themselves to be among the wittiest, most prosperous and wealthiest people in all of Italy. And yet for all their virtues, all their wealth and all their family connections they were some of the dullest, self-indulgent and stupidest people I have ever had the misfortune to acquaint myself with. Their constant need for courtly approval sent them all into a frenzy when the duchess required some trifling favour from them, and they dwelt for days on their execution of one service or other that they had provided her with, ever fearful that they had displeased her. There are but three reasons that I count myself lucky to have belonged to that court, firstly my intimacy with the duchess gave me a freedom of expression and authority experienced by no other lady in our company, I venture to say that I was as respected as the lady herself. Secondly, due to my sisterly companionship to his wife, the duke saw that I never wanted for anything, all that I could wish for was mine at a word from his beloved lady and his generosity was as great as it was famed, so that these words rarely needed to be spoken. Finally without my residence at the finest palace in the region, I would never have met my future husband, who was to make every day that we spent together, joined in the sacred union of marriage as wonderful as I could have ever hoped. Unlike his fellow frivolous court fancies he had a stability of mind and a need for sensibility that suited my temperament as if we were designed for one another.

On one particularly tedious evening I had been requested by the duchess to invent a game for the whole company to enjoy. I knew she had asked this of me in the hope that I could suggest something far less ridiculous than the rest of the party for they were well known for their vanity and stupidity and thus could not be relied upon to make any such decision well or with any ounce of merit. However, board from the conversations that evening had already provided me with I had little to offer the duchess as my mind had long been occupied elsewhere. Thus, discovering myself suddenly on the spot and quite at a loss, I made the only sensible suggestion I could think of. Each one of the party would suggest their own game that none of us present had had the good fortune to play previously and once all were proposed the group would vote upon the winner. This motion was accepted with general approval and an influx of gossip. Once the first man had taken his turn the duchess, ever merciful to her ladies, declared that due to my own wittily worded escape all the other women were also similarly excused. This inevitably led to an increase of the gentlemen's enthusiasm for the game for there was no chance of a feminine pursuit being chosen. It was ironic, therefore, that the order to make the ladies exempt and the idea to share favourite games were both those of women.

Court life had begun beautifully for me at the tender age of fourteen, my mother having passed away and my father having remarried I was sent, as all noble girls were, to wait upon a slightly older lady of some abroad court. Due to a family connection with the duke, I was taken into his lady's service just after their wedding had taken place and instantly became the principle member of her new lady's in waiting. My naivety appealed to her, reminding her of a younger version of herself I believe and giving her someone to tend and nurture before birthing her own children, the dukes heirs. She was only three years older than I and for the time desired no children no matter what society dictated. It was a danger to have them young and yet equally as harmful to wait too long, my progression into womanhood brought the duchess a further two years to deny her husband his wishes. By the time I myself had reached seventeen court life had lost its glittering appeal and both I and the duchess had grown weary and cynical. The people around us cared nothing for the art and literature they claimed to be so well versed in and spent their entire lives fighting pointless battles, gossiping of royal affairs and flirting outrageously with one another to the point that many a ladies, and many a man's virtue was called into question. I, as the duchesses' favourite should have been married myself by this time but I had held steadfast refusing to give way to inadequate suitors. Every man within that household had attempted in vain to woe me. Even those that should not have and had no prospects to offer me as they themselves were already married or else bound of an ecclesiastical establishment made fools of themselves in pursuit of my hand. The duchess said I should have been flattered and that one day I would be forced to accept one of them. She was right of course as was the duke when he decided to contribute to the conversation one Sunday morning at breakfast. "Emilia my dear the longer you keep them waiting the more exasperated they shall grow, and although you have the beauty of a rare flower now you cannot expect that youthful glow to remain until ten years hence from now. And at that age no man will marry you, especially if he has children in mind." Once more I conceded that he spoke the truth and that I understood well enough what duty required of me. He had laughed good naturedly at my seriousness and bade me to be more responsive to the next man who showered interest in me beyond simple flirtation. Despite my better judgement I agreed to do as he asked, but the following evening of entertainment was that of the games, and my heart was not in the evening itself and so the idea of courtship held even less appeal.