When I was 2 my parents separated. They weren't married yet. My dad got me every other weekend. But when he got me he never wanted to see me so he would take me to his friends or my grandpa and grandmas house. When I was 4 my parents decided it would be best to live together. Have a family. They got back together and were always fighting. Throwing stuff. When I was about 5 we got a house. Things got better. When I was 8 my parents married. Things went bad. My dad got mad at my mom and pointed a gun at her. Thankfully, he didn't shoot. But the cops were called by the neighbors who saw it threw the window. I woke up to no one in the house. Only cops. I went outside and was put in the back of a cop car where my mom was. Later I saw my dad get arrested and I wasn't aloud to see him for 3 months this was hard on me. I was close to my dad. But my mom a lot more. And I had started seeing my dad every other weekend again. My dad told my mom he was paying on the house- he wasn't. B4 we new it, we got kicked out. We were homeless. Had to stay with my grandpa, my moms friends, and my aunt. My moms side lived far from where we were living tho. So I lost all my friends. New school. New life. After awhile me and my mom found an apartment. I had friends at school. A lot. But my mom. Got depressed. She got a bf. my mom never wanted to be around me anymore. She dedicated all her time to her bf. (who hated me and was mean to me) so she had forgotten about me. Later my mom and him broke up. My mom got 10x more depressed. About 5 months later. My mom got a new bf. he beat her. He made us move. Thank fully I still went to the same school. My friends were what got me threw it. At 11 they split. My mom and I lost everything. For the second time. We stayed with my grandpa. Till my mom decided to go to the hospital. (Mental) she left me to stay with her ex boy friends sister who she thought she could trust. It was only for a week. The third day. His sister took my phone. called my dad who I talked to about 1 time a month and saw like 3 times a year. He came and took me. I hated it with my dad. He had a gf. Who hated me. Very much. The school I was then going to I got bullied. And everyone hated me. I called my mom one day when I had enough and begged her to come get me. She did. We were still homeless tho.
We had a new apartment in a new city. After starting school there we found out the bullying was horrible there. Well I got called Annoying, fat and ugly daily. I always sat at lunch alone. Never had any friends. Eventually after getting bullied enough I tried to kill myself. After that my mom was aware of how bad the school was. I always would refuse to go to school and the kids would say "why bother even coming" and stuff like that. And by the last day of school I told my mom if I went back to that school I would kill myself and make sure it worked. I couldn't go back to that school.
So after that year we Finnaly we went back to the city where I had a lot of friends. But. The new kids didn't exactly like me. Everyone had changed. I was now 13. They bullied me. And one popular girl didn't like me she turned a lot of people to hate me. Till I had no friends. One day. I came home. And was about to take a bunch of pills. My mom walked in. She called the girls mom. Everyday in the morning I lay there and cry and beg my mom not to make me go. One day. I had enough. And started cutting. My mom new how much I hated school. She let me be homeschooled. We lost our house. Are now homeless. I'm basically a drop out and am 13.
This is where I am in my life now. Still trying to find myself. All I wanna do is help people to not feel like I did threw these times. Some of the girls who bullied me. Now have no one. Are suicidal. Depressed. I help them. I'm still depressed. Have an eating disorder. Feel ugly and fat always. But. Everything I have been threw makes me. Me. And I'm trying to learn to love myself. It dosent sound all that hard. But really the hardness of this can't be put in words. I know it could've been worse. But I try so hard to stay strong.
My name is Julia and I'm here for you and care about each and every one of you <3
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