Internet Friends // mgc

Chapter 7

"So," I smirked at Kayla, who I was currently facetiming, "You and Calum."

She rolled her eyes and giggled. "He's cute." She started blushing. "Like, really cute. And really sweet."

"So basically I'm setting you up with Calum, Tayla with Ashton, and Kat with Luke. And I'm still single." I sighed and Kayla laughed.

"Aw babe, don't worry. You'll find someone who will love you forever." She said, trying to comfort me.

I wish she was here. Along with the other girls.

"I miss you guys so much."

"We miss you too Chelsea." She paused. "It's really late here, goodnight hun. We love you." Kayla smiled, as she blew me a kiss.

"I love you too." I smiled and hung up.

I sighed, throwing my phone on the floor and falling onto my bed.

Two months.

Maybe I could leave early. I already met the boys, so no real reason to stay.
I felt awkward here. Everyone knew eachother other and I was the odd one who barely knew anyone.

I was homesick. I missed having little talks each morning with the girls. I missed everything.

Now I'm just staying in a house with a family that I don't want to consider my own.

I heard a soft knock on my door. "Chelsea?"

I groaned. "What?" I snapped.

I didn't want to see anyone right now, especially if it was my father.

I've been annoyed. I don't know why, but I just have been. Michael and the boys- I don't feel like I belong with them.

"I'm coming in."

I was about to protest, but then the door opened, revealing Michael in a sweatshirt and sweatpants.

I turned so I wasn't facing him. "What do you want?" I didn't want to be rude to him, but I couldn't filter my mouth.

Michael sighed, kneeling down in front of me, forcing a smile. "Are you okay?" He asked, pulling me into a hug.

I pulled away, tears starting to form In my eyes. "I don't know Michael. I just feel like I don't belong. I'm homesick and I feel like I'm surrounded by strangers. I am just pissed off and annoyed at everything and I don't know why. And don't you dare say that it's my period, I know it's not." I took a deep breath and continued. "I feel empty, like I'm missing something. I feel really awkward being here, with Joy and my father, and you and the boys. I don't belong here!"

I was full on crying now. I shook my head.

"Babe." Michael looked at the ground. "You do belong here. Maybe this is like a second chance. To start over."

I shook my head again, still crying.

"I'm so fucking empty, Michael. I just feel like I'm just there. Like I'm not a living, breathing person. I'm just millions of atoms taking up space. The entire world is moving around me and I'm frozen in time." I let out a sob. "I need something. I don't know what. But something, anything that will make me feel whole again."

Finally. I've never been able to put my feelings into words, and I just did.

"Maybe you need someone." Michael looked me in the eyes.

Maybe he was searching for something. Love? Sadness? Guilt? Loneliness?

I stayed silent.

"I just hope you realize."

I was confused. "Realize what?"

Michael sighed, playing with the hem of his sweater. "Maybe someday you'll realize that the someone you're looking for is right in front of you."

He was still looking me in the eyes, like he was pleading for something.

I love you.

Is that what you want me to say?

I didn't say anything. He sighed, shaking his head. He gently kissed my cheek and gave me a small smile.

Then he left the room.

Does he feel the same way that I do? No, he can't! He probably had a girlfriend that he isn't telling me about.
I tried to control my thoughts but they wanted Michael. I wanted Michael. I wanted to be called his. But that won't happen.

-----------------------------------

"Hey Chelsea?" Calum asked as he gently opened my door and sat on my bed.

"Yeah?" I whispered.

"It's going to be weird calling you my sister." He laughed. "But to be serious, I'm sorry you feel like this. I know you're homesick. Michael really worries about you. I mean, we all do. You're our sister now, and we love you. Even if we've only known you for a few weeks."

I tried to smile. "Thanks for understanding Calum. I love you guys too."

"Are you okay? After Mike came downstairs after talking to you he seemed a little upset." Calum asked in a calm voice, obviously trying to comfort me.

"Um yeah I guess I'm okay. Besides missing home. I'm just empty and feel like I don't belong." I laughed and shrugged.

Calum nodded, and looked around the room.

"You know," He began. "Maybe you do need someone. Like a boyfriend I guess. I mean, you have us, and we all act like we're dating eachother." He laughed and I giggled.

"Yeah I guess..." I looked down.

Calum pulled me into a hug and rocked me back and fourth. "It'll be okay. You'll find him someday."

Maybe I will.

Maybe I won't.

Maybe I'll get married and have beautiful children running around the house.

Or maybe I'll be alone. Slowly dying each day, waiting for love to find me.

I like Michael. No definite feelings. I don't love him. I don't even know what love is.

"Be patient. Who knows, that someone could be downstairs right now, eating a sandwich." Calum said, smiling widely. Then he added, "Only one of us four boys like sandwiches."

With that, he hugged me tighter for a second, then walked out of my room.

Michael loves sandwiches.

How can the perfect boy be one I just met?

Maybe I didn't know what love was, but I'm sure I felt something towards Michael.

I didn't like him. I didn't really like him. Maybe I loved him? Maybe I love him.

But love is such a strong word....