Revitalized

Chapter 14: Enough!

When Edward left it seemed time slowed down in our home. Bella had nightmares and that made sleep a thing we did not get. Like sleep who?

Bella had begun screaming as I finally dozed off. I lazily made my way to her room. She looked like she was in agony.

I watched her for a moment wanting to allow her to have to live through that dream because I was sick of it. Not getting sleep had deeply affected me and I did not want her waking up dad.

When she whimpered I shoved her awake quite forcefully. Her eyes shot open quickly and she took deep breaths, tears streaming down her cheeks before more annoying sobs left her mouth.

"Shut up Bella," I snapped plopping down onto her bed.

"He left me" she sobbed.

"Honestly your wallowing in self-pity is annoying because everyone is going through stuff and here you are," I gesture to her appearance," it's out of hand," I growl. Her face is blank as she stares at me, her skin is sickly, and I want nothing more than to hit her

That just proves how selfishly, weak Bella is. I don't care if she loved Edward, to me it seemed more like an obsession. The way he watched her every move. The way he stalked her like his prey sometimes when she wasn't looking but in his eyes, you could see the obsession.

"Bella, you are killing dad and you sit here with nothing to say to me!" I shove her once again.

"I love him," She whispers sitting up.

"I do not care if you love him or not! It is not that big of a deal for you to spend this much time sulking over a-a man that has had time to love already!" I hiss standing to my feet. I could not handle this anymore. I had been deprived of a social life since Edward left because Bella can not be trusted to be alone. I have been just so cooped up in this house.

"Get it together Bella or I will make you," I shove my finger at her chest and she flinches back.

"I have lost so much since you arrived, and I am sick and tired of losing more." I hold back my tears. I had never been so angry at someone as I was now.

"What's going on here?" Dad's voice comes from the door way and I turn to look at his sleepy form.

"Nothing," Bella croaks, "I was just talking to her." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Yea, just talking. Go back to sleep dad," I walk towards him and he nods at us.

"Goodnight Bella," I hide the distaste in my voice by shitting her bedroom door.

"So, how is she?" He asks, and I really want to tell him she is fine, but she Is not.

"The same and it's ridiculous," I huff feeling a headache coming on. Bella was always the needy type and I get it that she can not do things on her own, but she just is not making an effort.

"I mean why does she have to be so weak?" Dad had been strong all these years, yet Bella could not have gone two says.

"Love does that, except I don't know what it is that they have Kay." Charlie pulls me into a hug and I hug him back.

"It is moms fault she turned out like this," A few tears left my eyes and I quickly wiped them away before they became noticeable.

"Go get some sleep," He kissed my head and I smiled.

I look at my chalk wall to see the picture of me and Paul, that embry sketched onto it. My eyes had a glow to them and I had a real vibrant smile then. I'm not that girl anymore.

I move my eyes and see the army stick figures that are fighting. Paul, Jared, Quil had I made it a while back because we were having an argument over basketball. There is so much memory drawn onto my wall that it hurts just to watch. It says, "We will never leave you Kayla," and all my nrez boys signed their names. They lied to me. 

Now I stand here writing on the wall with a Blue chalk:

Sometimes I get lost in the pain.
My heart wretches in pain.
This is now the life I have come to claim. Trying to Stay strong and live life long. Living in vain with less and less people that I'm able to claim. They all left leaving me wallowing in shame. Soon it will change, misery dissolving and happiness sparking life. You will feel it when it does and when it does you'll sore in the wind.

I write that from deep down, and I hope it doesn't sound crazy.

I laugh feeling a weight coming off my chest. Everything was just in there and I felt like It would be alright. In time it will all be good.

When I did sleep I dreamt of nothing and every that had to do with a stress-free environment.