Not Chosen [BoyxBoy] (ON HOLD)

Confused

Ever chilled in class heard rumors about yourself that would probably stun you? Well,  that was basically what I went through each and every day. It really got me at first because I felt as if I was being confused with something that I was not, but I had to get 'used ' to it somehow. But do trust when I tell you that it was not easy. 

As much as I tried to avoid it most of the time, it always managed to get to me. So I started getting all defensive about the fact that I was well gay. I always convinced myself that I was rather feminine instead of being gay because I grew up with women, a lot of them even. I mean ever since my dad left us with my mother's brother who was hardly around, I somehow got close to my mother. Guess I was trying to fill up the gap he had left in my life and  I'm guessing I picked up a few things along the way. 

So I started making a lot of friends with straight guys to try and cover all the rumors up. And it surprisingly worked, well for a few months that is. But I would find myself walking with a girl or acting like one sometimes which was a 'problem' to most of them and they'd end up making fun of me and stuff. It's funny how I thought about all of this stuff while I was only in primary school, a bad one even. But it finally hit me when I thought one of my friends was really attractive and would not mind kissing him and having him as my one of my closest friends.  

As much as I thought about all these things, I still had no one to talk. Not to mention growing up with people who strongly believed in tradition and the bible was not as easy as it seemed, they always had all these expectations of what a man or anyone for that matter should do or how they should act. I had no other way of escaping from reality, so I spent most of my time watching cartoons which were only limited to four channels and if I was lucky I would get to watch a full episode of Dragon Ball Z.  

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This is probably the most boring thing you've ever read but please tell me what you guys think and how I should improve the book.