Short Stories: Tales Of Monsters

Happy Thoughts

And there I sat again, surrounded by a thick darkness. Not the night's, but my own. My knees were pressed against my chest tightly and my chin was resting on them as my swollen and dried out eyes were clouded by an indescribable feeling of longing. My arms were hugging my legs as in an attempt to comfort myself from what I was feeling, but I was at a point where nothing could make me feel better anymore. I felt a void in my chest; my throat was dry and scarred from all the screaming and my cheeks were stained by the remaining of the last tears that my body had managed to produce. I was at a point where I knew that no matter how much I wanted to or how horrible I felt, nothing would come out, not a tear, nor a scream, nor a whimper. Without air in my lungs and feeling pressure on my chest, I laid back down in hopes of being able to rest, but the more I tried to sleep the louder the voices became and the worst I felt.
I looked at my nightstand, searching for the time and whatever sleeping pills I had left. The prescription bottle was already almost empty even though I had picked it up a week ago, but even with all the pills I had to take I always ended up laying on bed, sleepless and trying to ignore what they said.
"You should just take them all, nobody would miss you if you disappeared anyway." She whispered in my ear. I could hear her hideous laugh making fun of my weaknesses. "You're useless anyway, so what difference would it make? Not even your parents want you," she continued, her laugher getting louder. "So what is the point? You're ugly and disgusting. Just end it already!" She laughed even harder. My hands were covering my ears, trying to be deaf to what she said; but the more I pressed the louder her voice got. I tried to endure it; my fingers went through my hair and clutched it, desperate to make her stop. And then, I exploded.
"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!" I screamed in rage, my sore throat hurting as if I had eaten lava. "I don't need you! I never did! But now you've made me turn into you! I hate you! Just go away!" The few tears my eyes had left poured down my cheeks in that moment, anger mixed with a feeling of emptiness and self hatred as I stood up and bashed the lamp that was on my nightstand. The glass crashed against the floor with a screeching, high-pitched sound, scaring my cat and dog which started whimpering and mewling, trying to open my door to check on me. It seemed like they were the only ones who cared, but it didn't matter anymore. Her laugher echoed around my room and in an attempt to get rid of it I bashed down my paintings, my sculptures, my instruments; creating a ruckus that was loud enough to wake up my neighbors and make everyone think someone had broken in into our apartment.
Then I heard the worried and loud steps of my dad. He rushed to my room, awoken by the chaos, and bashed the locked door down with one single kick. "It was her again, wasn't she," was all he said, seeing the disaster I had made and closing the door so the pets wouldn't get in and cut their paws. Slowly, wary to not startle me beyond what I already was, he approached me and wrapped me up in his arms. "She will never go away..." I said, crying whatever liquid I had left in me. "Why not?" Asked my dad, hugging me as tight as he could without harming me.
"It's too late, and I can't do anything," I whispered softly, "because she became me."