I cry
behind these closed doors
with my mother on the other side just watching tv
and my sister on the other side of the wall sleeping
I cover my mouth to hide the whimpering
the pain esacaping my mouth
the pain my dad left me
the pain my rapist caused
the pain society has created
the pain all my lover's have abandoned me to deal with myself
I let the tears fall down my face
on to my pillows
creating stains of the memories
the memories of never seeing my dad
the memories of blaming myself
the memories of not being enough
the memories of being lied too
I lay there clutching my side
cause all the feelings are physically hurting me
making me not want to eat
I have skipped lunch for 3 week's now
I have cried myself to sleep for 5 week's now
I have regret all my mistakes for 4 years now
I have felt this way my whole life
and now I'm just an empty box
that someone has left on the street
Abandoned
I sit there for week's getting wet from the rain
getting blown from my spot as cars pass by
but at one point I will either be used or be thrown away
just like the rest
