POISONED BLOOD

Chapter 9

 "I guess he doesn't like me walking you to the bus, huh?" I look at him and exhale loudly. We walk out and make our way through the huge crowd of teengers. I can't stop thinking about Eddy and how angry he had gotten just over Grey escorting me to the bus area. He's always been jealous, but we aren't together anymore and won't ever be again; so, he needs to get rid of the feelings or pretend they don't exist. I don't see Daisy anywhere and my mood drops to an even lower level. Ugh. She usually goes out with me, but she doesn't ride the bus. Eliza has her own car and they're like sisters; she mostly lets Daisy ride home with her. I wish I had someone that close, but I can't think of anyone I really purely believe will never leave my side. Most of my good friends were the ones that hurt me the most and left the knife in my back, leaving an infection that only becomes worse through passing time.

"You're quiet." Grey comments on my silence and I try to speak, but my mind is so far from this moment that nothing comes from my lips. He laughs and I do, too. I'm glad I have him to walk with. He's funny without trying to be and sweet on purpose; that's the best combination to me. Oh, I can't forget his eyes either. A flash of memory pictures Eddy's sky blue ones and I cringe. STOP thinking about him. I can't. I don't want to, but I can't NOT think of Eddy. Self-hatred hardens in my chest and my fists clench.

"Sorry, I'm thinking a lot." I finally explain and I can see him watching me closely out the side of his eyes. I wonder how much he can see by looking at only me, only the outer shell. I wonder if he sees past it at all or if no one does. My friends see my pain, but no one I think ever views the broken parts. No, not broken. I'm bruised, but not broken. I'm scarred, but I haven't bled for a while. I'm cracked, yet I'm not shattered. I am not healing and that I know. I am strong.That is what I am. Bullying, losses, and life-altering circumstances have built me up and I will never let a human being on this planet tell me that I am weak.

"What are you thinking about?" We stand by my bus, 14-08 and I glance at it nervously, because I know the bus driver will leave without me on it. Grey wants to know and I want to tell him; I want to tell him everything. Whether trust is in it or not, something in me desires just to speak to him about all the things on my mind. Wanting to let it out is killing me and he's my chance at freedom. As it usually does, my pride sticks her chest out and refuses to say it, any of it. I sigh and this time it's because I'm tired. I'm so tired.

"Too much," I say while walking to the bus steps; I turn around to thank him for walking with me, but he's gone. My mouth opens anyway. "Thanks, Grey." It's a whisper and nobody hears over the yelling of the rowdy people I have to share this bus with. Bryant, my best-guy friend waves his hands crazily over his head near the back of the bus. Laughing at him, I hurry to him and he gets up to put his huge camo bookbag in the very back behind the last seats to make more room for me. He lets me sit by the window and I smile happily. I hate sitting on the outside where everyone shoves past you, your head gets hit by books, and little kids will not leave you be! I'm good with kids, but not these. He flops beside me and his dark brown, nearly black hair falls across his eyes; he swooshes it away with his hand and grins at me.

"What?" We've been friends for a couple or few years and I know this is his -I have something really huge to tell you- grin. I'm pretty sure I can guess, but he's excited about it and I decide to listen. His smile broadens and I can't stop myself from smiling back; the brown-green eyes that could pass as camouflage brighten to a merry light green.

"Okay, so I was talking to Summer in the hallway." He pauses and I nod for him to go on. Summer and Bryant were together maybe a year ago and he still hasn't gotten past his feelings for her; it really gets annoying listening to him talk about her ALL the time, but I know if I was into a guy I'd want to tell him all about that person, too. Although, I know Summer pretty good this year he still likes going into detail about her. I hope he doesn't notice that it bothers me, but only because Daisy has a small crush on him. A sort of sadness lingers in me for my friend because I know how bad it feels to want to be with someone who doesn't see you that way or is too stuck on another to even give you the chance you deserve.

"Well, she's with Ash, you know and he wasn't around. It was the perfect chance to talk to her and I found out he was being a d*** to her earlier today." His face darkens a little and I cut in.

"He's always being one." I roll my eyes at my distaste for profanity. I have used it before and I will in the future, but I don't like doing it because I feel dirty afterwards. Bryant agrees, continuing.

"We talked for like five minutes and she smiled a lot. See? I can make her happier than Ash can." Biting back my first response, I smile.

"I think I remember saying something to her about feeding him to a pack of wild dogs." He guffaws, making giggles bubble up in me. Gladly, my brain is further from Eddy. Another guy scoots into his place in my head, though.

"I don't want to change the subject, but do you know a guy named Grey?" His eyebrows come together as he thinks and I wait impatiently.

"Yeah, I think so. He's cool but people say he does drugs. Why do you ask?" My cheeks burn and I hope my pale skin doesn't color. It must because he laughs and pokes my right cheek.

"Awww. You like him!" He exclaims, loud enough for the surrounding seats and their occupants to hear. I smack him on the arm and he rubs it with a fake pained expression.

"Shhh! Don't say that!" He is laughing uncontrollably now, laying his forehead on the seat in front of us. His shoulders bounce and I catch the giggles.

"They don't know who I'm talking about." He argues, trying to sober but rewards himself by busting out laughing.

"How do you know that?" He's right but I still don't like him yelling out my business on this bus, or anywhere for that matter. He tilts his head at me like he does when he points to the obviousness. Sighing in defeat, I slap his arm one more time for good measure.

"Promise you won't tell anyone." It's a statement, not a question and he holds his pinky finger out. Guys these days. I shake my head and wrap my pinky around his. He tickles and teases me under his breath about my tiny, tiny, tiny crush on Grey and I get off the bus smiling as I walk up the steep concrete driveway to my grandparents' house and mine now for going on six years. Oh, the memories I'm making.