The Halls

It's not goodbye.

I've only heard Mama cry once before. I remember it clearly. The sound of her trying to breathe as she sniffles. I hear the same breathing as my mom passes my door going down the hall. "Why would Mama be crying? She never cries, it must be serious. What is going on?" I think as I open the door of my bedroom slowly. I see Anna following my Mama out to the courtyard crying as well.
When I make my way down to the courtyard staying in the doorway, I see Anna clinging to Mama's dress crying into it. My eyes wander up and see John hugging Mama tightly. " Why are they all sad?" I walk out from the doorway and enter the courtyard, keeping my distance from the others. Johnny lets go of Mama and starts to walk away.
" What's going on? " I ask quietly. "Johnny is leaving Elsa!" Anna says throught tears, her cheeks stained and red. I look at Johnny as he walks away. "He can't leave. He can't leave me here!"
"Johnny!" I yell as I run in front of him, my little legs going quickly, desperate to get to him. Johnny kneels in front of me. "Elsa I have to." He says softly, his eyes full of sadness. "Johnny can't leave. He helps me with my powers." My hands wring together as I try to keep my powers under control as I cry. "Why?!"
"I have to go have to go back to that war remember?" Johnny says, his eyes glued to my hands twisting in themselves." But I don't want you to go." I tell him looking down causing tears to fall onto my blue dress.
"I know you don't Snowflake. I don't want to either. Come here," he says gently. I take a step towards him hesitantly, not trusting my powers. He holds his hand out and takes my hand gently. I instinctly squeeze his hand tightly not wanting him to let go. Johnny pulls me close to his chest, and his big arms wrap around me protectively. He rubs my back slowly as he tries to calm me down.
" I'll be back soon okay?" He tells me. "Promise?" I ask wanting to make sure he's sincere. " I promise," he tells me and smiles. I bury my face into his neck, not letting him to let go. "I'll be back, I swear it Elsa," he whispers to me.
"Johnny is leaving. He isn't going to come back. Why is he leaving? I must have done something wrong," I think to myself. " Did I do something wrong?" I ask, my forehead pressed into his neck. " No you didn't. This isn't your fault. I wouldn't want to leave you for the World Elsa, but my friends need me."
"I need you Johnny."
"I know Snowflake," he says and his hand caresses my cheek gently. I feel his rough callused fingers against my soft skin. " Here," he says softly and pulls out a rectangular box from his pocket. "Open it up," Johnny tells me as he hands it to me.
I wipe away a few tears with my hand and open it slowly. I see a war medal sitting on the red velvet. " It's my first medal. The silver star," he says smiling as he remembers when he received it. " I want you to have it, and wear it when you become queen."
"He wants me to wear his medal. That's what a military man does when he fancies a women. Does he fancy me? Would he be fit to be king? What did he get the medal for? "
"What does it mean?" I ask as tears continue to fall down my cheeks. " It's for bravery. It's an award for gallantry in action against the enemy of the United States. But I want you to wear it and be the brave girl I know you are," he says smiling at me.
" How can I be brave? He is the only one that isn't effected by my powers. What will I do?" I think and start to cry again. I cling to him tightly and he pulls me close again.
" I want you to take care of it while I'm gone okay?" He asks me. " It's all I have from him. I won't let it out of my sight." "With all my heart," I tell him.
" That's my girl," he says smiling and a few tears of his own fall down his cheeks. " I'll miss you Johnny" "I'll miss you too Snowflake," he says softly and I hear Anna run up. Johnny pulls her into the hug. " Take care of Elsa for me Sweetheart? " He asks her, using his nickname for her. " Okay Johnny," she says clinging to him. " Good girl," he says and stands up.
" No!" Anna yells. " What?" He says looking down at her. " Don't go," Anna says desperately holding onto his pant leg. " I have to Anna," he says softly, sorrow filling his voice at the thought of leaving us behind. " Please Johnny," she says and pouts.
Johnny kneels in front of Anna. " I wish I could stay Anna, I really do." Anna looks down. " Why don't you?" She asks him, her little voice quiet. " I have to go back. This is a war that needs to be finished, and I won't leave my friends behind."
"But I'm your friend!" Anna says as she looks up sharply. " You're my little sister," he says and rubs her cheeks gently to calm her down. " But you're safe. I know you are. They aren't. Innocent people aren't safe yet Anna, and I gotta be a hero." Anna's little hand reaches up and touches the one with the mark. " You're my hero." "I know I am, but I gotta go be someone else's. I promise I'll come back and we will play together all the time," Johnny says.
I see Anna give up the fight and her body relaxes. " Fine," she says and hugs him tightly. Johnny hugs her back and kisses her head gently. " I'll miss you Johnny," I hear Anna say. " I'll miss you too Baby Girl." Anna buries her face in his chest, getting tears on his shirt. " Don't cry for me anymore okay? I'll be back soon, I promise." Anna nods and Mama gently pulls her away from Johnny. Anna goes and clings to Mama. I hold Mama's dress tightly.
Johnny stands up and walks to Mama. " I'm so sorry this happened," he tells her. " I shouldn't have told him," Mama says. " Told who? What did she tell him?"
"Hey you were being his wife. He deserved to know, he loves you and his daughters very much," Johnny tells her. " Papa. He is talking about Papa. He had something to do with this." "Your relationships are much more important than the ones with me. Besides, I'm just a stranger you let into your home," he says and looks down.
" No, you're my son," Mama says. Johnny looks up at her. " You mean that?" He asks softly. " Yes, I want you to have this," she says and takes off her necklace. She hands it to Johnny and he takes it gently, examining it. "
What? No, no, this is yours with your daughters pictures in it." Mama nods,
"I want you to have it. They will always be with you. "
Johnny opens up the locket and smiles looking at the pictures. " I'll take care of it. I promise, " he says smiling. I look up at Mama and she is trying not to cry. Tears fall down Johnny's cheeks again as he hugs her. "Thanks mom."
" I will always care for you my son," Mama says and kisses his cheek. " I love you Mama," I hear him tell her. "I love you Johnathan," she says smiling. He clutches the necklace as he pulls away. " See you soon Johnathan." "I'll be back soon I promise!" He says as he starts to walk away.
I bury my face in Mama's dress. " It was my fault he had to leave. I did something that made Papa make him leave. I can't be trusted."
I hear Johnny's voice in my head from his powers. " Don't be scared. I'll be back. " I look up and see his mark glowing. My eyes wander up and lock eyes with him. " Please come back and protect my family because I can't," I tell him in my head. " Just remember everything I taught you. It wasn't your fault. I'll see ya later Elsa. I'll be back before you know it. He gets a sad smile. " Cya later John," I think as he hops onto the wing of his plane. That was the last time I saw him..