Breaking With Every Step I Take

Intro

"Now clear your mind of all thoughts and focus on what matters most to you in life."

 I sat still, my legs crossed over one another, as I sat up straight taking slow steady breathes, thinking of when I was back home with my family who had raised me for nineteen years. How loving and caring they were towards me, until they thought I had been the one to turn against them. How they never were able to understand my problems, or focus on my opinions or aspects of life. How to them I was just that one piece to the puzzle that was missing, but it wouldn't matter if it was there or not.

I opened one eye to see my mental health instructor Ms. Lindsey giving me a disappointing look that went from within her soul to her eyes shooting into mine. It was the same look she would always give me ever since I had come to this ratchet mental institution and was unable to complete one of her many ridiculous steps to becoming "better" and "cooperative".  It was a wonder as to how she managed to never yell, but that look said it all.

"You're letting negative thoughts drift to your head, Darcy." She said as she scribbled down in her notebook filled of mysterious. It was like this with all the instructors there. They had a separate notebook it seemed for each patient, but it was an untold mystery as to what was ever being written in such a book. Was it our performance or were they simply checking off our incapability to certain activities? The world may never seem to know.

I sighed and lifted myself up off the ground, wiping any germs that may have crawled onto me while sitting there as instructed. You would think the mental institution would be cleaner and more sanitary, especially since they were connected with the hospital, but no, it was one of the dirtiest places I had ever experienced in my life. "I can't seem to get this right, Ms. Lindsey." I stated "But quite frankly what seems to be the use at this point? Breathing exercises and erasing my memory isn't going to fix my problems, it doesn't change the universe."

"Ah, but instead of being negative about the situation, you can think of positive outcomes, or new experiences from it."

"There's nothing positive about becoming poor." I glared at her. The subject of my new living conditions irked me even by just the near thought of such a thing happening, however it did. Ms. Lindsey was well aware of this as well, but much like everybody else, they feel the need to remind you of it, even if they are trying to erase your mind of such thoughts, images, and sights. No matter how hard they try, it'll always come back.