No Son of Mine

Chapter 4.5

July 28, 1986.

It was the day that NASA released a transcript from the doomed Challenger. It was the day that Michael Smith's voice could be heard saying "Uh-oh!" as the spacecraft he was piloting disintegrated. It was the day that Jill Trenary won gold in the U.S. Olympic Festival women's figure skating after being told that she wouldn't be able to walk on a leg that had been shredded in an unfortunate skating accident. It wasn't a day that would be remembered by most as outstanding or world-shaking, many didn't remember it at all, but it was a day that would be forever etched into a young child's heart. It was the day that Dean Winchester's world crashed down upon him as he was left in a ratty motel room with a father's threat ringing in his ears and knowledge that he had just ruined a friendship with a man that he loved and trusted almost as much as his brother and father. It was the first day of a five year time period that a seven year-old would name 'After' just so that he would remember that there was a 'Before', and that it was a time when there were happy memories and family, not just failure, pain, and darkness.

~~~

He's not sure exactly when or where or even how he acquired the small leather journal, but he does know that it's been his saving grace one way or another. If it hadn't been for that little moleskin, he's sure he wouldn't have had the willpower to continue on in a world with no light at the end of the tunnel. Through the years it's held his thoughts, his wishes, his apologies, his goodbyes, his memories...sometimes he thinks more of him is in that book than there is left in his own body.

The journal's sat strong and steady while everything around him was in chaos and he will forever be grateful for the circumstances that put the book into his hands, even if he can't quite remember them.