7:42 a.m. Wednesday
I'm on my way to the church and every miles I doubt if I really need to go there and see what will happen while my heart will be stub and stub from seeing her happy because she married the man she loves.
"Can you make it fast? We're gonna be late" Cole.
He just went to my house last night bringing his suits too for making sure that I'll not going to escape to that wedding.
"Alright"
It's final. Okay, I'm going and pretend to be happy for her then leave before the reception so I can't see her smiles for her groom or husband when the day end.
We are now here at church. We didn't go to the hotel to check Lorie and Pierce because we know they are in a relationship and has plan for their wedding, their engagement is the same day of Lia's engagement day. Both of them are also our friends because we're called as the five-buddies since high school.
"Smile dude. After all of this you can commit suicide, I'm not letting you stop."
"Yeah Cole, You bollocks!" You're such a stupid Cole.
"But seriously dude, Im not really sure if he can make her happy, if she'll be married to you, of course I'm sure I will be your best man. Like you now." Then he laughs out loud.
"You're so sweet bro do you know that?" I rolled my eyes on him.
I find the ring inside my pocket, I remember how much I work hard to buy this so I can propose to her in a formal way but well I'm always too late.
It's always on my pocket, ready to give it to her but there's a wall between us that we should be just for friend. Still, I'm thinking if I can give it to her without this feeling no more or I should give it to Cole so he can be married? No way, I'll sell it to him, just in case.
But remembering the day when we bought in a jewelry shop for Lorie's gift, Lia saw this ring and playfully said to me that she want this and she will like it more if I am the one who will give it to her but before I could do that someone did. Sometimes I blame her that she didn't wait but I realize I'm the stupid here that I believed from what she said.
----
The wedding march started to fill the place while I stand behind the groom, Clerk Lace, the man who stole my first love's heart.
I don't feel good. I'm so nervous when the two-doors of the church opened and the light of the sun enter the church with the girl I love the most.
I, Lia, Lorie and Pierce was an orphan children and Cole's family helps our orphanage that's why she's not with her parents but ignoring that her face is bright showing her beautiful smiles which I think she's excited from what's happening here.
I'm jealous and I can't stop it. Maybe my face is just a normal poker face I usually made but there are a different emotions and feelings that want to explode. If I stopped her that day when we're just in high school she confessed her feelings upon me, that she liked me, if I said I have the same feelings too, I think I'm the man who will stand as her groom right now.
Eight years ago, I didn't expect it. My heart beats rapidly. At first, I ignored it. I ignored it, on the bus to school. I ignored it when I was talking to my friends. I managed to ignore it, right until we entered the gates. Then my heart started beating too fast for me to be able to breath, think, and move properly.
I supposedly say something before she turned back around to walk to our room after confessing to me and I preferred to stay quiet when she turn back again to me and said
"Cay, I really used to like you since we're little when you always protecting me even you're so annoyed to me because of being clumsy and playful. Until I realize if my feelings grow and grow maybe our long friendship will lead to awkward so I started to erase those feelings." She smiled but I just standing in front of her frozen.
"Don't worry all of those are gone and I wish we can still be friend, just a friend." And those words cut deep me.
She's here now walking down the aisle meeting her groom. My eyes are only on her when she looks to me and smile. I could say there's something but I think it just my imagination so I smile back to her then she face her groom and hold his hand.
