Perilous ! (A Jason McCann Love Story) Under New Construction

Chapter Twenty :"I'v Lost Her"

*Jason's P.O.V*

 

As i took one last deep drag on my cig , i threw it hastily onto the sidewalk . Keeping my head down, i tired to stay focused , keeping my mind at ease , as much as i wanted to flip out of control at loosing Ash i had to try and keep my cool . The air was beginning to get thicker and colder , as more mist began to appear as i breathed out , more than what i created when i was smoking . The more i tried to get her out of my head , the more she crept in . It felt like agony , loosing her ... again .

Maybe the only way of keeping her safe for real .... would just be to let her go . As much as it pains me to think that ... maybe that's just the right way of doing it . I want her in my life .... but not this way . It's hurting her as much as it's hurting me . I told her being with me would never be easy but she stood by me anyway . Which is partly why i do get on at her most of the time , i want her to leave sometimes but only because i care about her . I'v never felt love for anyone or understood why someone would want to love me . She showed me that i can be loved and that I can love someone else . I'll never forget that but I have to let her go . The thought makes my stomach churn and tighten but there's nothing I can think of to keep her as safe as possible.

When a heard a roaring motor trail behind me , i tried eagerly not to look as the car followed behind me. I bit down on my lip , squeezing my eyes tight , telling myself not to punch the windows in . As i heard the window roll down i rolled my hands into fists just in case it was Trey .

"Jason , for Christ sake it's me!" I heard a familiar voice yell from the rolled down window .

I snapped my head over to the voice to see Freddi with his curly hair sticking out the window .

"If you wanna find her man , I suggest you take the car" he arched an eyebrow at me as hr tapped his hand just under the window edge .

I sighed as I licked my lips , looking down to the pavement . Nipping one side of my lips , making the difficult decision ; to get in the car with him and risk going off track or stay where I am and follow her tracks in the freezing cold .

"She won cross country last year you know , first place . Good luck on your own" he teased as he revved up the engine up to tease me even more . A small grin played across me lips as i looked up to him .

"Shut up Hensen" i chuckled as i hopped in the passenger seat . The smell of fresh furniture spray sprinkling through the car . "Now can we go find my girl?" i smiled over to him as he tapped a tune of the stirring wheal .

"I was waiting on you buddy" he twitched his head over to me as he took off down the street . I looked curiously as he drove fast along the long road . Arching my neck , straining it so i could see every square inch of land i could , just to see if Ash was stumbling across the side walk .

We drove for about half an hour trying to find her when i began to fall impatient . "We're never gunna find her!" i slammed my fists down into the dash .

"We will man we just gotta keep looking" Freddi tried to calm to down as he clapped my back . I ran my hand through my hair then dragging it harshly down my face and pulling at my lips . I sat in deep thought to think of where she could have got to . Home ? No , that would be going way to far . The Police ? Wel that would be a very bad mistake and i know she would never do that anyway ... or would she ? Being as angry at me as she was , she might have turned me in ?