Nightmares ; Bonkai

chapter 21

She woke up with her hands around Kai's neck, still leaning over him. She pulled her hands away quickly and listened to his even breathing, no sign that he was jolting awake or trapped in a nightmare. She leaned back on her knees and put her hand over her mouth as she stared down at him, replaying everything that just happened. His father is behind this? She went over the days since he first started having the dreams and the rapid progression of poor health and shift in personality that came along with it.

'Your friend Damon sought me out...' she smiled sadly to herself, wondering what had happened to her fellow prisoner and what he was doing in the real world. The simple pleasure of knowing Damon was still fighting for her weighed heavily against the repercussions it's put against Kai, and the deadly turn of events for an outcome.

She sighed to herself and got off the bed quietly, slipping out the door before he woke up and headed for the kitchen. She spent the next twenty minutes in a constant battle of heart against mind as her thoughts played through every scenario that could happen depending which path she chose, and going over what she has had to endure up to this point.

When she found herself an hour and a half later, after a dazed shower in Stefan's bathroom still going over the same thoughts she felt like she could rip her own hair out. All she had done was given herself more questions and not a single answer solved. It was like a riddle that she couldn't figure out and it was eating away at her.

The heaviest question weighing on her mind was 'what are you going to tell Kai?' Because, honestly, she didn't have the slightest clue and that was what she needed an answer to immediately.

She wanted to tell him what was going on; she's gotten to that point where she can tell him things and he does the same and there's this mutual - thing - between the two of them. She's even set up a few hypotheticals where she can justifiably say why she brought Kai with her to present day, and it doesn't make her queasy.

What does make her queasy is the thought of holding on to this major secret; one that will ultimately end in Kai's death if she keeps it to herself. She was the first one to admit Kai and his killing sociopathic ways needed to be put down and she did it herself to ensure it - but the way she sees him has drastically changed since then.

She rounded the corner still lost and thought and found him in the kitchen cooking breakfast. She stopped mid-step and tried to slowly back away but he glanced up at her.

"Oh there you are," he smiled. "Scare you off in the middle of the night?"

She looked over his features and inwardly cringed at how much worse he looked. His eyes were dark and glazed with deep marks underneath giving him the look like he hasn't slept in days. He wore matching black sweatpants and a sweatshirt over a gray T and still seemed like he was cold. She glanced down at her own t-shirt and shorts in the comfortable weather and stepped closer, hovering in front of the seat at the island.

"No, I just got up early and didn't want to wake you. How did you sleep?"

"Surprisingly pretty good, I remember starting to fall into something but then it was just black and I didn't dream about anything."

She smiled, a small triumph coming over her at her attempt to pull him out of his nightmare being a success, even if it didn't go as planned.

He scooped the eggs and bacon on two plates, bringing them both over to where she was and sitting beside her.

"So, either you guessed that already or you had something to do with it," he nudged her elbow when she didn't respond or move to eat. "Bet I can take a guess on which one."

She smiled sheepishly, her thoughts still running on overdrive and not knowing what she wanted to tell him or keep secret.

"Yeah I might have had something to do with that. I didn't want to say anything since you didn't want me doing it in the first place."