Nightmares ; Bonkai

chapter 27

1.

I felt the sun beating against my eyelids before I could open them. Squinting through the brightness I saw the clear day overhead and felt the grass and dirt under me, groaning as I sat up straight coming face to face with a large white building – Kai's childhood home. I stayed sitting for a beat longer, momentarily frozen with panic over all the different ways I could find Kai and what state of mind he will be in. Letting the moment pass I hoisted myself off the ground and walked up the steps on the porch, hesitating at the door before opening it.

The sight of Joshua stopped me mid-step, standing 10 feet away and walking towards me. My breath caught and I took a step backwards about to take another when he turned to the right and walked into the next room. I followed him into their living room and walked in front of the TV; directly in his line of view from the couch. He didn't bat an eyelash at the obstruction to his view so I stepped closer until I was in front of him, leaning forward to be eye level and seeing a distant and blank stare looking through me like I wasn't even here.

"At least you can't make things worse in these dreams."

I straightened and with one last suspicious glance at his father, I walked into the adjoining room and made my way around the first floor without coming into contact with anyone else. Heading up the stairs I took in all my options to choose from and heard a mumbling behind the door at the end of the hall. Pressing my ear against it I heard what sounded like children's voices, a girl and a boy. I opened the door to be sure and found a 10 year old version of Kai and Jo sitting on his bed in deep conversation.

Even as a child it would be easy to spot Kai out of a classroom of students; his bright blue eyes and baby face looking adorable in his young age. I stepped closer into the room towards him hoping he would see me but knew better than to think it would be that easy. To find Kai I will need to first go through his memories – whether they are good or bad – and try to go far enough into his mind to save him from himself.

"What happened at recess?" Jo asked.

Kai crossed his arms, huffing out with his eyes down and eyebrows crinkled.

"I punched Jimmy in the nose."

"Why?"

"Cause he's stupid."

I couldn't help smiling at Kai's mini-me; a different outward appearance but still very much the same person on the inside.

Jo didn't say anything, a soft expression on her face as she swayed her head from side to side waiting until he was ready.

"He just bugs me, and he had it coming! He's always making fun of me and telling me I'm weird when he is the weird one, he doesn't go anywhere without his group of wannabes." Jo laughed and I watched some of the tension slip off his shoulders. "He kept pushing my buttons saying I had no friends and that our family's all messed up too and I wanted to shut him up."

I couldn't help but let out a sad sigh, the significance of this memory slowly starting to reveal itself and casting Kai as an outcast even in his young age.

"You do too have friends!" she said agitated. "And I am one of them! You are my best friend."

"I'm your brother," he retorted.

"So? I trust you more than anyone and I hang out with you every day; best friend. And I'm yours too."

"Oh really," he laughed "are you telling me this?"

"Yes," she laughed as well "just in case you forget."

I watched him try and push it all out of his mind but there was something in his eyes that he couldn't shake. "Am I different?"