Poems

Addictions

4:23am
I've  never gotten the courage to talk about my addiction, no not the typical things like drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. My addiction was a soul, a person who changed my life into making it think everything is a trap, every little thing. A person who I was addicted to more than I ever realized. They say cigarettes are more addictive than anything in the world, more than cocaine or even heroine, but I'm positive I was more addicted to this monster than I could ever be addicted to anything else. He took me in as his own, made me believe any word that ever came out of his mouth and fell in love with every single move he made. I was positive I was addicted to that thing he called "green". The drugs, the smoke would fill my mouth and lungs, whenever I was with him it would make me feel okay again. Made me feel like I could do anything, I could be anything. The insomnia that came with this came with another addiction, sleeping pills. I'd never sleep. It'd be sleepless nights, one after another. I would just pop the pills like they were nothing. Like it wasn't a big deal, but before I knew it I was drowning in my own mess. The mess I created myself. He made me believe everything was okay, just when I thought it was. He was gone. I never fully understood if it was a good thing or not. But after a while I quite all those addictions. And I realized I was slowly beginning forget about him. I thought I was happy for those six months of my life, but in those six months there wasn't a day I was sober. So are you really happy if you're never sober?