My Fallen Angel

Chapter 3

2 Weeks Later...

The fact that I find the world different made me stay on where I was.  I don't how long has it been.  Weeks, months, maybe years, I guessed.  I just stood on my spot, gazing at my own daydream like I haven't move an inch. 

My mind was so lost in thought once more that I felt a soft bump at the back of my head.  I slightly shifted 1/4 of my body to the left to see who threw a crumbled paper behind my back.  It was then, some guy tried to catch my attention in his own way. 

"Hey Essi!" It was a classmate.  "Care to join us?" He asked.  His friends began to whisper behind his back. 

"Why is he asking her?"

"What is he thinking?"

"Is he really going to join her in our game?  I dunno if she can play.."

His boys were glaring at me.  I find it really rude the fact he threw a paper instead of calling me.  They were playing soccer on the open field even though it's filled with rocks. 

"Why are you asking me?" Or "Why do you care?" were usually my response whenever they tried to ask me.  "Don't you want to play with us?  We thought we could have another.." He offered, grinning. 

His friends were hesitating whether I should join or not.  But instead, "Don't you have enough players already..?"  I asked, turning my whole body to meet him. 

He lifted his chin, thinking about it for a moment,  "Well we want you to...  Keep score." He suggested, "Is that okay with you..?"

If only I was useful then I wouldn't be some tool and just simply throw me away because I'm not needed anymore...

I was about to answer when another of his members stood up, "But dude, we already have Rikka to keep score remember?" I stopped for a moment. 

Like I said, I'm just some tool. 

"Oh, is that so?" He looked back at me.  "Sorry Essi, I didn't know we have one already.  My bad." He scratched his head. It feels as if more of a fake apology, I believe..

"We better get going then.  It was nice meeting you." He left without saying another word. 

How foolish.  To think that I'm just standing here, hoping if there's really something I could do..  But all I could ever do was just stare at the clouds, reading a book or sketch. 

I'm just a girl who rarely show emotions.  Just full of curiosity and it felt as if someone was doing all the talking even though it was my own voice. 

I can't help but wonder who it was..  It feels so weary.  Even I couldn't understand myself...

I chuckled to myself.  Once the bell rang, hitting dismissal, I got my things and rushed downstairs, heading home.  I sensed others shooting daggers at me. 

"Well look what the cat drag in."

"I didn't expect the emo would make an entrance for it.."

"Oh don't be like that!  Just look at the poor girl.."

Please stop...

People were staring at me while I was walking.  I began to sulk down on the ground, looking at my own two feet as I force them to walk faster. 

I felt something bumped to my shoulder as there was a something that stuck on my back.  I heard laughter surrounding me. 

I can't take it anymore!  I ran as fast I could until I reach home.  I clutched my books closer to my small chest as I got out of school.  I panted, gasping for air but still kept on running. 

As I ran a few meters away from school, I stopped for a moment on the streets, catching my breath as I regain my pulse again. 

I leant against the wall, hearing a scrape behind me.  I removed it on my back, clutching the paper hard.  "Freak huh...?" My eyes grew dull as I hid behind the shadows. 

I don't want to feel any pain.  I don't want to feel any remorse pain..  at all...

They kept doing it for fun..

I dragged myself home as I creaked the door gently, "I'm home.." I tossed my bag and keys on the couch.  Why do I keep on saying that..?  It's just useless..

"Oh, welcome home Essi!" A high-pitched voice popped into the atmosphere.  I saw a purple haired woman emerged from the kitchen who was wearing a white apron that said "Kiss My Chef, Mama Luvsy~" and holding a pan and spatula. 

"Mother.." I barely spoke.  Her cheerful smile tried to cheer me up.  "So how's school?" My smile faded a little but I don't want to see my mother upset. 

"I'm doing fine.  It was pretty tiring but I manage."  I tried to cheer myself up for her to not be suspicious of what really happened to me. 

"I have to do some homework now.  Days have been a hassle lately..  Ehehe."  I excused myself as I dashed myself upstairs. 

My mom wondered when she heard my voice.  She wants to go up and talk but decided to leave me at the moment. 

I shoved myself to bed, burying my face onto the soft pillow as I let go of my own consciousness.

  I want to sleep for now.  I want to believe that this is all a nightmare..

That's right...  A nightmare.. 

How sadistic this is.. 

And when I finally drifted to sleep, I knew all I could ever see was black. 

Nothing but darkness shutting me in, trapping everything out.