I can't let the things that empower my love for you destroy me by simply allowing them to be remembered. I must acknowledge that it happened, but not remember the things that drove me wild, that fixed me only to cause my break again. I can't let myself see the things I love about you anymore. They saved me once, they'll kill me now. I suppose all things are like that. Your savior becomes your downfall. It begins as what keeps you together and then tears you at the seams, fixes one problem and creates another. Why is it always this way? Why can't the problem just stay fixed for more than a moment? The only thing we can hope for is to temporaily fix the problem long enough so that we die before we see that end. We hope that we see the end of life before we see the end of what fixes us. It's better to be dead than to lose what keeps you together. I mean, at least this way you'll die in one piece.
