It's been 2 hours. 2 hours since my mom and Steve left, 2 hours Matts been here, and 2 hours we've been sitting on the couch watching football.
I'm not a big fan of football unless it's the Dallas Cowboys and right now, it's not.
But I texted my mom and asked her what Matts last name is and she told me. Thank god she hadn't gotten on the plane yet because what I found out about him is insane.
He's some famous viner youtuber whatever and he's been on a bunch of tours and is friends with a bunch of famous people and he's loved by millions of girls across the globe.
Yeah that's pretty insane alright.
And no, I wasn't stalking him. I was making sure he wasn't a total weirdo with a hentai obsession on his Twitter. (Gross, I know.)
But he's not. He's just some regular old boy with millions of followers. No big deal.
"I'm bored." I stated, slumping further down into the couch.
"Oh sorry." He turned off the tv. "Anything you wanna do?"
"LETS MAKE COOKIEEEEEES!" I yelled running into the kitchen.
"Alright alright that actually sounds kinda fun. But no Christmas music! My roommate has been listening to it like a maniac for the past two months and I can't take it anymore." He said, laughing as he sat down at the island in the kitchen.
"Fine, but I'm picking the music." I smirked, plugging my phone into the portable speaker in the kitchen.
"Oh no. You're gonna pick some lame ass pop song on the radio everyone's heard a billion-" I cut him off by turning on Migos. He looked dumbfounded and sucked in his breath, finishing his sentence with wide eyes. "Times."
"She's a stripper naked dancer but she beggin' me to wife her." I said along to the song. I continued to say all the lyrics because who doesn't love Migos am I right or am I right.
"Can I just tell you I expected NONE of that to come out of your mouth?" He said still with a shocked look on his face. I started dying laughing.
"Why? Do I not seem like the type of person to like rap?"
"NOOOOO! NOT AT ALL!" He said. "You look like you'd like Taylor Swift and One Direction." I scrunched my face up.
"Not a big fan of either of them, but I do like some pop music. I like all types of music. Except country. I hate country."
"Saaaaame." Matt said making me laugh.
We started making the cookies and the song changed to Superheroes by Chief Keef, one of my all time favorite songs. I rapped along, not good at all but still, as we used the cookie cutters to cut out shapes in the dough.
"CAN I PLAY YOU THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER BECAUSE YOULL LOVE IT AND ITS SO GOOD?" I begged. Matt sighed, rolling his eyes.
"Okay fine, go for it."
I turned on This Christmas by Set It Off and danced around the kitchen to the loud music.
-
"Pretty little lady with the swollen eyes would you show them to me?" I sang, playing my guitar.
Its currently 2 in the morning. I have this problem every night. I don't sleep that much, either I fall asleep and wake up an hour later and can't fall back asleep, or I can't fall asleep period. When it's early like this, I sit in front of my window and play my guitar and sing. It calms me down, especially with my anxiety.
I know I seem like I'm really loud and outgoing, but that's only because I'm in my own house and Matt is pretty easy going. Most of the time I have trouble talking to people. That's social anxiety but I have anxiety about everything basically. How many of you guys are just anxiety filled little teenagers? Yeah. I know the feeling.
I sang When You Can't Sleep At Night by Of Mice & Men, one of my all time favorite songs. It's so soothing and calming.
I waited an entire after waking up to actually get up. I was nervous that maybe Matt would wake up and hear me and think I was a weirdo. I mean, who randomly wakes up at 2 in the morning and sings? Yeah, crazy people.
I finished the song and just sat there in silence, looking at the sky from my window.
I started to softly sing Let Live by Of Mice & Men, not screaming like the actual song obviously, but it was acoustic I guess you could say.
I looked up at the sky again, thinking of my dad. I began to wonder if he was watching over me. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. I hope he is. I miss him, a lot.
"I miss you dad." I whispered. "A lot."
I don't know why I thought I'd get an answer. I just did. I thought maybe, just maybe, I'd hear something. But that's crazy. He's gone.
"I love you. I always will. Say hi to Willow for me."
Willow was my best friend. She passed away of cancer almost a year ago. My dad was in a car accident shortly after. He passed a few months after she did. It's still hard to talk about. But I like talking about how great they were. They were both amazing people who didn't deserve to die. My room is filled with pictures of Willow and I, and my dad and I. That's all that's on my walls basically. It's just my way of showing how much I appreciate them and how much I miss them.
I put my headphones in and played My Understandings by Of Mice & Men as I tried to fall asleep, tears falling down my cheeks.
