Forbidden (Mature 18+ Only)

Chapter 2

Ever since meeting Dez, I couldn't prevent the thoughts of him from entering my mind. Why am I so attracted to him? What the hell am I thinking; I have a boyfriend... who loves me... I think.

Sitting in the dark corner of our spacious living room, blending in with the couches and bookshelves behind me, I watched as people danced under sporadic disco lighting. Matt had them installed recently and was pleased with the effect it had as everyone grinded and bopped to the heavy techno music. The room was immensely spacious, holding up to countless amounts of people who bunched into groups throughout the room and weaved in and among each other.

I could see Matt was sitting at a small table with his friends; drinking, conversing and sniggering at some poor girl who had tripped over in front of them. I went to get up to help her when I noticed she was getting up languorously while cackling. I grimaced as she attempted to seductively walk over towards Matt while holding a bottle and trying to balance.

I was in disbelief and could not look away when Matt winked at his friends and stood up to approach the girl who was clearly intoxicated. Her short white dress clung to her frame as she fell into Matt's arms. A chorus of male cheers was heard from where I sat and watched as my boyfriend steadied her and lead her in amongst the dancing crowd. I lost track of her bushy brunette hair and Matt's brown faux mohawk as I tried to follow them with my distressing eyes.

I stood up to leave and possibly take a bottle of wine with me to bed when I glimpsed Matt groping her butt as she leaned on him for support. Fury started to darken my vision when I felt a cool hand on my shoulder, accentuating a warm and velvet voice in my ear, "I would never treat a beautiful woman like how he treats you."

I whipped around and gazed into those half lidded murky brown eyes. Once again those pupils widened before shrinking in response to my astonished facial expression. A feeling of utter comfort crept through my body, consoling my tensed shoulders and clenched fists. Dez was still wearing his white singlet but the blood stain I saw previously, was now gone. How?

Before I could ask him about it, he grabbed my hand firmly and started to pull me towards the crowd that was dancing. He glanced over his shoulder at me with a lopsided grin, "I adore that face you get when you're surprised and confused, utterly gorgeous."

I tried to resist and cut out, "hey wait!" But he was far too strong and before I knew it we were both beside a couple, which were moving to the beat of the song that was blasting through the surround sound speakers.

I felt like I did not belong with these people, who were able to enjoy themselves and live care freely. Unlike me, I felt trapped in the same vortex of scenarios that could not stop from spinning in a repeated cycle. Every night it was always a party, either here or somewhere else, which always turned out the same. I would stay in the shadows while Matt would enjoy himself, treating me like I didn't exist before coming back to me each night. I felt disgusted with him but at the same time the feeling of love as he cradled me to his body and made love to me was worth it. Then there were the nights that he came back to bed furious at something and take it out on me. I would wade through the painful repeated scenarios everyday and wait for a happily ever after but once again, I felt trapped and could do nothing.

I had no money, no job and the only family I had left was Matt. I never knew my mother as I was raised by my father, who I saw less of as I grew older. In school I was bullied and the only friend I had believed she was a witch but I knew magic didn't exist. It wasn't till her twin brother went missing that she started to withdraw from me and stopped talking to me that I truly felt the feeling of loneliness. It wasn't till eight year ago, when I was sixteen that Matt entered my miserable and isolated life. He was kind, well mannered and treated me like I was the most expensive trophy in his bedroom wall unit. He was the end of my lonely days until I finished high school and my father left home for good. He had just packed a few things and didn't leave a note or anything. I had tried calling his number but the voice kept saying he was disconnected.

It was weeks of waiting for him to show up before I had people from banks, insurances and companies calling to tell me bills and loans were not being paid. Matt had found somewhere to live in the next suburb, Preston Park, so he decided I was to move in with him. Since moving in with Matt, everything changed; the way he spoke, the way he treated me and even the way I loved him.

After the first few incidents of experiencing blows and punches to my face and body I slowly began to think I was the reason for the way he was. I had always tried to please him but it never worked. I was always the problem, never Matt, who would calmly tell me afterwards what I had done wrong and that it caused him to harm me. He always apologised and whispered sweet things in my ear, saying he never wanted to hurt me as he loved me. I felt I could never feel love again after being with Matt. I was so lost in a world that I did not want to be in. No one wants to be injured and insecure yet here I was the perfect representation of why.

I use to ask myself why I allow him to make me feel this way but I soon stopped when I could not think of a reasonable response. It is because I let him treat me like this that makes me feel utterly stupid, worthless and pathetic. No one wants to love someone like me maybe that is the reason why I stay with Matt. He is the closest I am ever going to come to having someone love me. No one else would ever love me as I am nothing...

"Hey, it's okay," a smooth voice gently brought me out of my thoughts. Dez had his hand on my cheek, rubbing away the wetness, which were the tears that stubbornly escaped my eyes. "I didn't mean to upset you," he said, gently as he looked into my eyes with concern. I tried to force the negative thoughts to the back of my mind as I composed a brave face.

"Why did you drag me here?" I asked as someone accidentally pushed up against me from performing a swirling dance movement. I heard muffled laughter and giggles before Dez replied, "I wanted to dance with you." The look in his eyes as they gazed back into mine conveyed that he would love to do more with me. I was surprised I did not feel repulsed but in fact, guiltily attracted to this man.

My guilty thoughts led me to look around at the people surrounding me before seeing Matt. He was dancing with the same brunette girl, arms around her waist from behind. I could see his head lowered making out with her neck. I watched as she raised one arm and shoved her fingers into his hair while taking a slug of a drink from her bottle of vodka cruiser. The last pull towards Matt, within my heart, snapped.

I glanced back at Dez and wanted to let go of all the pent up misery. I decided to commit to having fun and just let go. I reached up and placed my arms around his neck as I leaned closer to his ear to whisper, "then let's dance."