I sat on my bed, curled up in a ball; my jet black hair masked me and all my melancholy glory. My eyes burned from all the tears that came out, my nose was running so much I gave up sniffling it back in. My lips were chapped; they tasted salty from the tears. My face was sticky from it, but warm from the flow coming out.
I held my arms tightly around my knees; I drew them closer as if they were my last life force.
My boom box played “Oh Darling!” By Plugin Stereo, I cried even more thinking of joyous thoughts, all the happy times we had together.
“She lied.” I cried as the fresh tear flow began. “She lied.”
I buried my face deeper in my dark kneecaps to the point where I started seeing a format of shapes behind my closed eyelids.
Maybe if I squeeze tight enough, I will leave this world.
“Elizabeth.” A soft voice called. It sounded like bells ringing, it was deep yet comforting.
“Yes?” I said not picking my face up.
“Look at me.” The mysterious voice said.
I was afraid to pick my head up, I didn’t want anyone to see me so broken, but how could someone get in? My door is locked.
Who is this man?
I looked up slowly, in front of me, by my room door; stood a glowing figure. He was glowing gold, he was smiling. He looked about five foot, seven; with a smile that made me feel like I could touch the sky if I jumped, He stood still as His eyes assessed me.
Who are you? I thought to myself even though I already had a hunch.
“You know me.” He said warmly. He didn’t move.
“I know you?”” I said slowly testing each word. I took my eyes off of him and looked at my bed, studying the floral patterns on it. They swirled, they became pink, the leaves turned green leading into a crème color.
I know you? But I’ve never seen you a day in my life. Or maybe I have and I just don’t remember, after all, didn’t I read somewhere that the mind dos this? Remember things you don’t pay attention too? Hmm . . .
“I know you.” I said louder now, sitting up and staring at him.
I sniffled.
“You know me.” He said evenly.
“I don’t remember you.”
He shrugged and walked over to my bed with three strides he was right next to me. I placed my feet on the floor looking at this glowing man. I had a better look at him now; he had shoulder length brown hair that looked soft, the gentlest brown eyes I’ve ever see, yet he looked big and muscular. Can a muscular man be gentle?
I bit my lip.
“Jesus.” I said trying not to sound crazy, but somewhere in me, this fit.
He smiled.
Unholy everything, this is Jesus! In my room, this is awesome! I felt happiness surge through me.
“I need you.” I said quietly. I placed my head back down.
He sat near me looking at me.
“I need you Jesus, sometimes I feel like you’re not there, like you’re not listening, like you’re busy with others. But that’s okay if you are, I’m sure other people have bigger problems, bigger than mine.” I tried to swallow the bile rising in my throat signaling a new shed of tears. Not in front of Jesus I chastised myself.
