I really don't like people.
Like I'm not just a shy/ introvert/ socially anxious person. I'm just like ... There.
I don't even feel comfortable with my parents in the room.
[Earlier I wanted to make a drink but my mum was nearish the sink/ kettle. And I thought it was because she was there that I didn't make a drink but like even when she sat down away from it, I still didn't make a coffee and I was kinda freaking out a bit until she left and then I kinda relaxed into ME.
A bit like when people say they 'relaxed into the chair' or whatever and they just slump into the chair and like fit the shape of it (like induced fit model of the enzyme #biology) yeah. It was quite like that for me. I felt like (the non physical part of) me fitted into me (my body) properly.]
Forget 'locks aren't made without a matching key' and all that crap. I'm more like the spare key for a lock that hasn't been created yet and never will be. If I can't even sit comfortably in a room with even just one person I've literally known my entire life, how THE FUCK am I ever (potentially, hypothetically in some alternate universe) going to have an 'effective' significant other.
YOU ARE READING
Poems with a twist
PoetryWhen I get to my lowest I write these. Let's hope I never have to use them. (Or not) If you are a lucky enough to be part of this (you will know if this applies) , then congratulations, your existence has made a big enough effect on my life to be me...
